Praise as a Paddle

As with water flowing downstream, we can choose to flow in the shadow of the rocks or sparkle lightly upon the surface.  We can look downstream (to see where we are going) and upstream (to see where we have been), but to maneuver yourself in this flow it is sometimes necessary to 'dip your paddle' in the water where you are right now.  How you do this can make all the difference in steering you away from obstacles and keeping you flowing easily along your journey.

Communicating praise to others is one of the best methods for guiding your 'paddle' to assist you in your course adjustments.  By 'pinging' others with praise, we learn exactly where we are, where we have been and where we are going through the process of validation.  What we are saying with praise is "I like this about you", "There is a part of me that aligns positively with that part of you" and "We are flowing in the clear water together in this regard."  Conversely, criticism says the opposite and ultimately serves to slow our journey and muddy the waters, making it difficult to navigate or stay on the surface.

At first we may make 'tentative' strokes or perhaps even 'over adjust' with our praise, but as with anything practice and repetition can assist us in developing mastery and eventually navigating by 'auto-pilot'.  A daily suggested practice is to praise 3 people: one in your present, one from your 'past' and one from your 'future', where 'past' and 'future' refer to people that are floating either upstream of downstream of you right now.  Examples of 'past' might be a former boss, co-worker, mentor or friend who you still admire but are not actively communicating with right now.  'Future' might be someone you just newly met who inspired or excited you.  And 'Present' could be your spouse/significant other, close family member/friend or just someone that you see each day at the coffee shop.

In praising, simply find one thing that you like, respect or notice as positive about that person and communicate that to them.  Start with 3 people and then continue the practice each day, observing how you are flowing along your journey.  Are you flowing on the surface or under the rocks?  You choose.

All the Best,
Whitney
© 2010 All rights reserved, Whitney Merrill 

'Praise is like sunlight to the human spirit, we cannot flower and grow without it.' - Jesse Lair

Prioritization: The Mayonnaise Jar

The following was sent to me by a friend and I felt that it fit so well with the recent theme of Prioritization that so many have been focusing on recently that I have posted it in it's entirety (below). Enjoy!

The Mayonnaise Jar & A Cup of Coffee

When things in your life seem almost too much to handle, When 24 hours in a day is not enough; remember the mayonnaise jar and 2 cups of coffee.

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him.  When the class began, wordlessly, he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and started to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.

The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured it into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls.  He then asked the students again if the jar was full.   They agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else.  He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with an unanimous 'yes.'

The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.

'Now,' said the professor, as the laughter subsided, The golf balls are the important things - family, children, health, friends, and favorite passions. Things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full. The pebbles are the things that matter like your job, house, and car.  The sand is everything else -- The small stuff.

'If you put the sand into the jar first,' he continued, 'there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls.  The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, You will never have room for the things that are important to you.


So...
Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness.
Play with your children.
Take time to get medical checkups.
Take your partner out to dinner.
There will always be time to clean the house and fix the dripping tap.
Take care of the golf balls first -- The things that really matter.
Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.'

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented.  The professor smiled.  'I'm glad you asked'. It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend.'

All the Best,
Whitney
© 2010 All rights reserved, Whitney Merrill 

Intention for a New Day

At the end of each day there is an opportunity to review what has transpired in our lives, specifically the Actions that we have taken or not taken.  On some days there is great movement - such as a job being accepted, moving into a home, a relationship started, a big transaction closed or a child being born.  It is easy on such days to reflect at the end of them and say "Wow, look what we have accomplished!"  On other days, there may be little movement or perhaps even some resistance that shows up for you in your world in the form of missed meetings, deliverables slipped, offers rescinded or quotas increased.  Although perhaps not as pleasurable, there is opportunity in all 3 states of Action (movement, stasis and resistance).

My daily review currently occurs each day when my 2+ yr old son is having his bath - whether it is my wife or me giving him the bath I will use this bath time to reflect on what has occurred during the day.  Where productive Action has occurred I will acknowledge myself for remaining in the Flow of energy that enabled me make progress along my journey.  Where there is stasis or resistance I will acknowledge that as well and take a deeper look.   Specifically, I will ask myself if have met my personal intentions - would I benefit from setting or resetting them again?

As an example, if I have not met my Intention to find a new job/career but I am still actively working towards this goal, I will resent the intention and remind myself that I am one day closer towards that new job/career that is coming my way.  If I find that I am missing meetings and appointments and this has just come to the forefront of my attention, I will set a new intention to be on-time (i.e. a few minutes early) to each meeting and to reground my calendar.  Perhaps this will result in me re-looking at the lack of wiggle room in my calendar or perhaps removing some commitments, but setting the intention is invariably the first step in the process.

Just for today, spend a few quiet minutes at the end of your day to review what has transpired and try the following exercise:

1)  Acknowledge what has occurred and give thanks
2)  Take a look at what has not occurred, pick one area of focus and assess whether you want to set or reset your intention
3)  Light a candle and as you are doing so, state your intention out loud with the understanding that you are communicating this intention to a 'broader audience' than just your self (i.e. the Universe)


Your intention has now been reset and your future is on it's way and will be here soon.  Tomorrow will be a new day with a new sunset - what 'lenses' and intentions that you will look at tomorrow's sunset are all up to you.  Rest up and enjoy - one day at a time.

All the Best,
Whitney
© 2010 All rights reserved, Whitney Merrill

'An ant on the move does more than a dozing ox.' - Lao Tzu

Authenticate

'Please enter your UserName and Password' is a familiar request these days and one that causes many people a good deal of consternation.  From an identity verification and authentication perspective the issue is not that we do now know Who We Are (UserName) or Something We Know (Password), but that most of us now have MANY of these identifiers and they keep on changing.   Remembering and keeping track of them all can be quite a challenge in the Information Age that we live in, but perhaps this is just the current 'price' of living on the leading edge of creation.  (For those interested in a good username/password storage application, I recommend www.roboform.com).  But I digress... :)

When you think about it, this is just an electronic version of the age old question - "So, Who are You truly anyway?"  Or more specifically, how do I authenticate you?  From Wikipedia: ""Authentication (from Greek: αυθεντικός ; real or genuine, from authentes; author) is the act of establishing or confirming something (or someone) as authentic, that is, that claims made by or about the subject are true."  We are being asked this question from those providers (i.e. banks, social media sites, on-line retailers, etc.) that we have chosen to engage with in the 'virtual' world vs. in the 'physical' world, so this additional step is necessary to authenticate who we say we are - otherwise someone could be impersonating us.  Unfortunately, this does not necessarily mean that in the 'physical' world that we are 'Who We Claim To Be' either, now does it?  In fact, many people walk around impersonating themselves every day - either not knowing who they are and/or claiming to be something that they are not.  'Invalid UserName and Password' is the norm rather than the exception.

When I go to preschool to pick up my son at the end of the day I will often engage with children that I have not met before and I like to ask them "Who are you!?!"  The answer is almost always clear and simple - 'I am Isaac!', 'I am Natalie!' or 'I am Mason!', etc.  Remember when you were that sure about who you were?!  Of course, much has happened in our lives since then and we have all played many roles, been through many life phases and been many different people just in this single lifetime.  Each time it was a different 'UserName and Password', no wonder we can't keep track of all of them.  And there is no easy little application to manage them for us and lots of new groups of people, organizations and providers that will want us to authenticate with them in the future.

My suggestion is to take it one 'role' at a time.  Pick one for today and truly own it, with the understanding that each day is a new day and tomorrow you are free to choose a new one.  Look at yourself in 'the mirror', chose 'Who You Are' and allow the world around you to authenticate and validate you all day long.  You can choose ANY 'Who You Are', in ANY format and in ANY area of your life, but try one on for today and live it FULLY.  Examples could be:

I am... 'a father.'
I am... 'passionate about health and well being.'
I am... 'a corporate account executive in the high tech industry.'
I am... 'LOVE.'
I am... 'a photographer.'
I am... 'teaching others about Universal Truths.'

Look then for people to ask you for your 'UserName and Password' all day long and give it to them!  You are likely to find that people and organizations that you have chosen to engage with will do so where you are today - just for today, give them full permission to do so.  Open up to 'Who You Are' and just Be.  

By the way, for Today, I am... 'sharing.'

All the Best,
Whitney
© 2010 All rights reserved, Whitney Merrill

Consuming Information

It is interesting to ponder the thought that just a few decades ago the concept of having Too Much Information available would be one of the challenges facing each of us as we go about our daily lives.  Yet here we are today in the age of the Internet, smart phones, Twitter and texting - who would of thought?

Choice becomes ever more important in such an environment and sometimes what you don't choose is as important in what you do.  Additionally, discernment is becoming an ever more important skill to develop as our ability to separate the 'wheat from the chaff' ultimately determines what we decide to consume and digest in our daily 'diet' of Information.  We all know what happens when we enjoy more and more of our meals at the drive-up window of our favorite fast-food restaurant - the same applies with with what we consume intellectually.

When seeking Information, I suggest the following 3 fold approach (note: IVC):

Investigate:  As if you were a investigative reporter, pursue and 'stalk' your information as it if you were digging for the Truth at all times.  Be constantly on the look-out for new clues and hints of what is hidden beneath rather than accepting information at surface value.  Maintain an attitude of neutral to skeptical at all times until you have double confirmed your 'sources' of information.

Validate:  Once you have confirmed your 'sources', look to Validate your Truths.  Whether it be a Personal, World or Universal Truth, determine if Validation has occurred and if so, acknowledge and recognize it.  Seek to build upon Validated Truths, just as a strong house is built on a solid foundation.

Contemplate: Of utmost importance is the absorption of truly Validated information.  To often we 'gobble down' our food, not allowing ourselves to digest properly.  I prefer quiet time alone or a walk in nature for my contemplation but a good easy chair or even walking the dog may be your preference.  Creating the time and space for this contemplation is often the challenge but the rewards will surprise you.

The suggested exercise for today is to pick a space in your home for Contemplation and make it your own.  If you already have one then clear, clean and re-order to reset the grounding.  If you have none and space is at a 'premium' where you live then start small with a cushion, a little table or a small plant - just the act of doing this will start the 'digestive' juices flowing.  Who knows what you'll be 'hungry' for next? :)

All the Best,
Whitney

© 2010 All rights reserved, Whitney Merrill

'From wonder into wonder existence opens.' - Lao Tzu

What do 'I' have planned for myself?

In each lifetime we are confronted with the challenge and opportunity of finding out what 'we' had planned for ourselves.  Or in other words, we in our Personality are seeking to understand our Essence Plan.  No small feat when you consider that the Personality often feels like it is 'going it alone' while our Essence is connected to the timelessness and infinite of the ALL - sometimes it can be a difficult 'meeting of the minds'.  However, if we are willing to calm the Mind through meditation and contemplation it is possible to have an energetic dialogue with oneself about what this Plan truly is. 

Additionally, our Essence is always seeking to 'clue us in' through direct experience in the tangible world and this information is available to us if we are able to pay attention.  This is a foreign concept to many of us who were brought up in a society where we were taught to receive guidance and information in specific ways and from specific sources.  Fortunately, we have innate abilities that have been handed down to all of us through our natural history that are available to direct towards this challenge.  From our hunter/gatherer days we learned the skills of observing, tracking and stalking that which we were seeking.  We can direct this focus into our daily lives of today.  Whether at work, at home, in the grocery store, walking the dog, etc. - clues are available to us everywhere if we are simply willing to pay attention.

Just for today, direct your focus to everything that is going around you with the assumption that this is information for the taking.  Look at everything in the physical world as if it were something that 'you' put there to remind yourself of why you are here and what you had planned for yourself.  Consider that nothing is too small and nothing is too insignificant to be valuable to you in your quest.  Just keep your eyes wide open.

What 'on Earth' are you here for anyway? :) 

All the Best,
Whitney
© 2010 All rights reserved, Whitney Merrill 

“There is always one moment in childhood when the door opens and lets the future in.” - Deepak Chopra

Harmonizing for Today

Upon emerging from the mid-life transition where we have learned to put our 'past in our past' and live through the True Personality, there are often items and memories of a positive nature that still resonate with us.  While Fears may have been learned from our parents and others, there were likely also people and events that inspired us and illuminated our way.  Integrating them into the present is an opportunity to ground us and and further enrich our lives in the NOW. 

The challenge often lies in sorting through that which truly resonates and that which is simply an emotional cord that drains us.  Does the trip back 'memory lane' provide a positive energy refresh or does it just drain our batteries?  Were there pieces of the experience, place or person that have particular positive resonance and were there pieces that we would rather not remember at all?  Can the two be separated?  This is not an easy exercise, especially when the False Personality is 'running the show' and again why this is often not attempted until the final phases of the process.

Until that time, there are still Actions that we can take to assist in sorting, selecting and harmonizing the pieces of our past.  For like notes in a melody, each one has a resonance that will energetically attract to the others.  Like attractions will be harmonic and un-like attractions will have dissonance.  Playing a note and hearing which notes around it 'sound good' and which 'don't sound good' is just like doing what we love to do and seeing if items or memories from our past attract and harmonize to it naturally.  There are an infinite number of combinations if we have the patience to try them all.

My suggestion for today is that you 'play a note' of something you Know you Love and try 'combining' one or two other items from your past to see if there is a resonance.  If there is, try playing that new 'melody' again from time to time and see what else it attracts.  If not, consider letting go of that past item or memory to see if it will provide more freedom and available energy to you today.  Continuous harmonizing for today is simply another way of looking at Being Present or Living in the NOW - it all starts with playing that first 'note'. 

All the Best,
Whitney
© 2010 All rights reserved, Whitney Merril

'Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment.' - Buddha