Milestone Energy

Rainbow Ribbon
La Petite Baleen - Half Moon Bay, CA

 My son recently passed his first swimming level certification (a.k.a. the Rainbow Ribbon) at our local pool.  He was so proud of his achievement, especially as this was something that he had done all on his own (i.e. no help from Mommy or Daddy).  I found myself commenting out loud to him that this would be the only Rainbow Ribbon that he ever receives but he didn't quite understand that and was much more interested in where we are going next (the upcoming celebratory bowling event that we had promised him as a reward)!  :)  However, the moment stuck with me and got me to thinking more about milestones and their incredible impact on our lives.

The truth of it is that you can get only one 'Rainbow Ribbon' in your life.  It's a milestone and once you've officially earned it they can't take it back from you.  Even if you suddenly woke up one day and forgot how to swim, when you went back to swim school and had to retake the test again it wouldn't be the same...it would be the second Rainbow Ribbon and nothing like the first.  Additionally, once you get the Ribbon that you worked so hard to get the milestone tends to move by you so quickly in preparation for the next.  At swimming school when you have achieved Level 1 you are immediately faced with Level 2, and Level 3, and Level 4, etc.  As a matter of fact, in my hand I'm actually holding a Level 2 foundation skill sticker that he attained only minutes after getting to Level 1...crazy how fast life moves and how quickly we can skip over these important events if we don't even stop to take a few pics! :)

We all do this - we set goals and strive to achieve seemingly unattainable milestones like being able to swim when before it was a bit scary and intimidating...and then we 'suddenly' do it!  It takes tons of focus and determination and effort to achieve the milestone that once we get there we tend to just keep on moving.  We want to immediately jump right into the next goal or milestone, without even pausing to enjoy and savor the one we just achieved.  In the euphoric moment of 'I did It!' there is a tendency to feel light-headed, un-grounded and lose your bearings a bit...and this is where our mind will want to go right to 'Now...What Next!?'

What is so critical is to celebrate and leverage that milestone - even if just for a few seconds to stop and live in that wonderful moment.  There will always be a "What Next?" but there is a magical moment of milestone achievement right in front of us...and it is dying to be appreciated!!  It wants us to love ourselves and be proud of our accomplishment...to smile, beam and BE in the energy of 'ringing the bell'.  It is an inclusive energy with room for all and an energy that can be used for our next creation or goal or milestone...IF we are able to fully let it in and receive it's energetic support.

The process for leveraging this energy is super simple:  Do something that you really LOVE to do while thinking of your milestone achievement...that's it.  Even just a few minutes celebrating your milestone in conjunction with doing something you love will allow you to take a short break from the 'What's Next?' to focus on the Right NOW.  Jump up and down, shout from the rooftops, go hang out with your friends, have a party, give time or money to those in need, tell 10 people you love them, have you favorite meal, watch the sunset, etc.  Just do what you LOVE to do with the purpose of leveraging the energy of the milestone...and it will keep the wind in your sails on the voyage of your life.

Oh...and don't forget to celebrate with ice cream!! :)

All the Best,
Whitney
© 2014 All rights reserved, Whitney Merrill

Not Perfect

Mother's Day Shadow Box Gift
Half Moon Bay, CA Shells

My son requested that we make a shadow box gift of sand and shells for Mother's Day.  A week ago we went out to our local Maverick's beach and gathered lots of great shells, sand and natural items.  My son washed them all, picked out which ones that he wanted to include and then I got out the glue and we went at it.

To provide a bit of context, I am not the most 'craft' oriented person in the world fer sure…for me creation usually involves woodworking, carpentry or photography - small, detailed oriented projects are quite a challenge.  Think chainsaw, shop smith, backhoe…not tweezers, glue guns and threading needles.  :)

Suffice it to say my patience was wearing thin as I attempted to get this project 'done' vs. truly taking my time.  After a few near curses, exasperated sighs and perspiration beginning to drip off my nose (it was our usual Coastside summer temp of 60 degrees and we were on the garage workbench with the door open), my son looks at me with a bit of concern (for me) and says:  "Daddy, it doesn't have to be perfect."

I looked at him as I was about to respond with "Well, yes it does - it's for Mother's Day!"and I stopped and paused instead.  The mystics and wisest of us are fond of telling us that children are our greatest teachers - this was one of those great teaching moments for me…and fortunately I got it.  I responded instead with: "You're totally right…let's let it dry a bit and we'll wrap it up later.  Let's go for a bike ride instead."  BTW - thank you for the pause Universe, totally saved my day!

To be honest, we never did get a chance to wrap it up and Mother's Day came upon us and we delivered it to Mom in plastic bag (still leaking sand) - but of course she LOVED it!!  My son was sooooo proud and pleased to make a special gift to give his Mom.  He was also 100% correct in that it did not have to be Perfect…and therefore it was.  I don't quite know how to describe it other than to say that it was Perfectly Imperfect in it's own unique way.

"Happy Mother's Day Mai!"

Happy Mother's Day to all Mom's out there!  Enjoy your day and don't worry if it is Not Perfect…if you really pause and think about it you'll see that it will be, just because it IS.

All the Best,
Whitney
© 2014 All rights reserved, Whitney Merrill

The Flow

Old Town Water Fountain
Geneva, Switzerland

After periods of extreme stress, intense work or 'heads-down' focus it is common to experience a sense of Energetic depletion.  We have 'put out' more than we have 'pulled in' over time resulting in a net imbalance in the flow of energy, which ultimately drains the Energetic 'tank'.  Like a bucket with a hole in bottom - if we're not filling it up faster than it is draining at the bottom then we're going to soon have an empty bucket.

To be clear - our empty Energetic 'bucket' is not like having our car's fuel tank read Empty, an imbalance in blood-sugar, lack of sleep or even a Vitamin D deficiency…this is is something even more fundamental.  I'm talking about the the Energy that sustains us, nurtures and propels us forward.  Without it we lack the will to engage fully in life.  Without it we find ourselves running on 'fumes' and going through the motions just to get to the end of the day…and then start another day all over again on 'auto-pilot' moving forward just for the sake of moving forward.  No fun, no smiles and definitely no sense of humor…

Weary World Traveler
@ any International Airport

One of the other challenges it that there is no currently known Energetic 'gauge' or indicator light to tell us when we are depleted.  This in conjunction with the fact that the stress event or focused mode that got us into this situation does not naturally lend itself to pauses to check the gauge...fight or flight after all was developed to get us away from the danger FAST, no matter what the cost to our reserves.  It's the everyday stress and intense focus required for many routine events in our lives that is somewhat unique to our modern world.

When I find myself feeling Energetically depleted one of my methods for checking the 'gauge' is to sit by some moving body of water and focus on the Flow.  Whether it be a remote mountain stream, my son's bathtub being filled at home or the water fountain in a old cobble-stoned square, I simply sit and focus my attention on the flow of the water in and the flow of the water out.  While doing this I then picture a gauge, a scale or a thermometer of sorts in my mind and look to see what the reading is.  If it's low (as I saw on my last trip) then I know it's time to work on filling my tank, either by plugging the 'hole' at the bottom or turning up flow from the 'faucet'.

More on how to accomplish that in future posts but one of my recent personal ideas was to manifest some fresh, new, loving, joyful energy into our family home…and look at just what appeared this weekend!

Mo the Puppy
8 Weeks Young

Feeling my Energetic bucket being filled up again already! :)

All the Best,
Whitney
© 2014 All rights reserved, Whitney Merrill

The Mystery

"In this world are very few things made from logic alone.  It is illogical for a man to be too logical.  Some things we must just let stand.  The mystery is more important than any possible explanation.

The searcher of the truth must search with humanity. Ruthless logic is the sign of a limited mind.
The truth can only add to the sum of what you know, while a harmless mystery left unexplained often adds to the meaning of life.

When the truth is not so important, it is better left a mystery."

                    - from 'The Power of One', Bruce Courtenay

All the Best,
Whitney
© 2013 All rights reserved, Whitney Merrill

Why Teach?

It has been a summer and fall of 'first lessons' for my son in a number of areas.  First swimming, first piano, first dog walking, first construction project, etc.  What occurred to me was just how many teachers there are that show up for us in our lives to provide us with knowledge, support and guidance along the way.

What I think that few people truly consider is that there is a Giving and Receiving of energy that occurs in the teaching space that provides energy for both the student and the teacher.  In many ways it is not just that you are giving something to someone else, but you are also giving to yourself at the same time.

In teaching others you are actually teaching yourself...the awareness of the flow and input of energy while teaching a student is something that natural teachers know instinctively...they can feel it every time that they support someone else in their learning and growth.

And of course we are ALL teachers in some way or another.  The trick is to recognize when you're really enjoying it and receiving the energy as the teacher, as this will encourage you to do more of it...thereby passing on the energy to others.

Teach what you love and love what you are taught in return! :)

All the Best,
Whitney
© 2013 All rights reserved, Whitney Merrill

Transformation

My son had his first baby tooth come out recently.  He was wiggling it quite a bit during the week and it had begun to bother him and hurt a bit, especially at meals.  But one evening at home while wiggling more with his tongue it dropped into his lap and with a bit of blood cleanup it was finally out.

What surprised me next was that he was sooooo happy about it.  True Joy as he transformed into a boy with teeth coming out...and new teeth coming in.  One minute it's a wiggle tooth and the next minute it's a hole in his smile! :)

I am always amazed at how children are so flexible and adaptable to change.  One minute crying and the next they are all smiles and writing a note to the Tooth Fairy. :)

If only Transformation were so easy for us adults...often requiring hours, days and years of surrender to the inevitable change (if we're lucky).  Here the Hanged Man hangs upside down waiting, patiently waiting for transformation to come to him.  Yes, I know...he's got a bit of the Martyr in him too but what can you say...at least he's taking his transformation with a bit of Zen.

But for those of us without quite that amount of patience, or for whom Action is part of our DNA, how can you approach transformation and hopefully get to the Joy sooner rather than later?  How do we get through the period of teeth wiggling and somewhat painful or tentative meals and onto a new a brighter smile?

There are of course many true and valid approaches but the one I will offer one for today is 'put your focus elsewhere', and particularly on something that you Know, Love and Appreciate.  Rather than focusing on the 1 tooth that is coming out, remember to be Grateful for all of the others that you have and what you can still chew and eat with them.  Give thanks for the rest of your body that has created a biological mechanism whereby baby teeth come out and another set of adult teeth are ready to come forth...truly amazing when you really think about it, isn't it!?

Be Grateful for what we do have (which is usually much greater than the 1 tooth about to go), vs. focusing on our upcoming Loss and Change.  Focusing on the Loss and the Fear can lead to increased anxiety and even addiction...it usually looks something like the Tower...not too pretty eh?

This is not to say that we should not wish our tooth well and think of it in a positive and appreciative way.  For after all that tooth has been with us through many ice cream sandwiches and marshmallows and lollypops...it's just that it's not going to be in our smile this Halloween.  But to focus on it without respecting it's own Transition into 4 quarters provided by the Tooth Fairy would be to actually diminish our memories of the good times.

Focus on what you DO have, allow for the transformation to occur in it's natural way and prepare for the next Change.  For after all, there is already another tooth ready to start wiggling even if you may not be aware of it yet. :)

All the Best,
Whitney
© 2013 All rights reserved, Whitney Merrill

'Life is change.  Growth is optional.  Choose Wisely.'

True Play

I went to visit some relatives this past weekend and ended up engaging in a game of Monopoly.  For me, this is what I would call 'True Play' - engaging in something that you love to do that truly rejuvenates and reinvigorates your soul.  Something about the combination of strategy, luck, the accumulation of 'property' and then the letting go (if you are the loser) seems to me an engaging metaphor of life...but that is me.

What I know is that I love to play the game and share in the fun with others of a similar mind, which in this case happens to be a number of my family.  The game is played with a passion (in this case we actually setup on a table in a vestibule just protected from the rain) and with a desire to win...but also a graciousness and understanding that losing and loss is actually more likely than winning.   In this case it was four of us and the first 2 out of the game actually seemed the happiest and most rejuvenated for participating.

I personally did well but appreciated more the fact that I totally engrossed myself in the game and was surprised to find that 3 hours had transpired at the end (these games often go for longer than that).  What I knew was that I had more energy and happiness after the game than before...a clear indication that it was True and not just 'participation' Play.  I have spent many years searching for and validating this True Play...for me it is something that brings joy to my heart and a smile to my soul.

And yes, there is always a winner...celebrate the achievement because I'll be back to play again! :)

All the Best,
Whitney
© 2013 All rights reserved, Whitney Merrill

"A master in the art of living draws no sharp distinction between his work and his play; his labor and his leisure; his mind and his body; his education and his recreation. He hardly knows which is which. He simply pursues his vision of excellence through whatever he is doing, and leaves others to determine whether he is working or playing. To himself, he always appears to be doing both." - L.P. Jacks