The Focus of NO

After the identification of Purpose and some understanding as to the composition of Structure, we are faced with the 3rd step in the process which is deliberation as it relates to the potential future Implementation.  This is the process whereby we begin to determine what is 'in' and what is 'out', thereby providing us with focus.  Many people have a great deal of difficulty with this step as it invariably involves saying 'NO' to other people that many be involved for without some 'nos' we will ultimately not have enough energy for the 'yesses'.  We may feel that we are 'closing doors' or 'burning bridges' when in reality what we are doing is laying the energetic 'rails' for our future expansion, growth and movement.  Without those rails or guides to keep us focused and on-track then our energy has the potential to become scattered, weak and diffuse.    

When we have come to know our Inner Purpose and Structure, it is up to us to navigate through distractions and to acknowledge that there is an energetic cost for every 'side trip' along the way.  Learning which choices are stepping stones and which are dead-ends is part of the experience of life but there are also ways in which we can mitigate the risks and optimize the use of our own personal power.  Examples include:

1) Regarding a decision or choice, ask yourself: "Do I really want to do this Right Now?" or "Do I think that this is the next 'right' thing for me to do?"
2) Is there a 'Need', 'Should' or 'Have to' somewhere in my decision making process (a good indicator that this is not your own True Belief)?
3) If I wasn't concerned about what other people would think or feel (i.e. they would support me either way), would I still chose this or would I say 'NO'?
4) When I shift forward in time to my Energetic Picture of the future and look back upon this choice, do I feel that it is in alignment with the feeling of my Energetic Picture?
and/or
5) Am I working with a trusted guide or advisor who can assist me in aligning my deliberation process with my Purpose and Structure so that I can avoid the undue influence of False Personality? (i.e when I do not have clarity with regard to questions 1-4 above)

It is also important to note that NO can be stated powerfully, honorably, respectfully and with integrity.  It is the "Yes (but I really don't want to)" that is what is really out-of-integrity.  What we are saying when we say "Yes (but I really don't want to)" is that we don't honor or respect the other individual enough to tell them the truth, usually under the guise that it 'might hurt their feelings'.  Also, when I say "Yes (but I don't know if I have enough energy for that)" then we are also out-of-integrity as we try and 'look good' to others and 'go along with the motions' to 'save face'.  A simple 'NO, Thank you' can make all of the difference in these situations, especially when communicated from the heart.

My suggestion for today and for your next step of deliberation is that you simply be open to the 'NO's that may present themselves to you.  By doing less of what you don't want to do, see if that gives you more energy for what you do - and then choose that.

All the Best,
Whitney
© 2010 All rights reserved, Whitney Merrill

"If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice." - RUSH