Pumpkin Cover

It's Pumpkin season in Half Moon Bay, CA and the above pic was on the cover of Coastviews Magazine this month and features my son Zander pulling the daughter (Eva) of good friends of ours.  They also visited again this past weekend and took a few more pics - who knows... maybe one of these will be next year's cover! :)

All the Best,
Whitney
© 2012 All rights reserved, Whitney Merrill

Sunday Morning Special: Folk music in Half Moon Bay

Coastviews Magazine Article

by Whitney Merrill

Lighthouse String Band Members (L to R): Dave Sahn, guitar; Raymond Tsang, fiddle; Helen Tsang, mandolin; Cyndi Menzel, hammered dulcimer; and Mary Maguire, bodhrán (Irish frame drum). Photos: Whitney Merrill.

September 2011— Community means many things to many people — but at Blue Sky Farms in Half Moon Bay on a foggy coastal morning it smells like coffee and fresh-baked pastries, tastes like a mouth-watering breakfast, and sounds like lively folk music from the Lighthouse String Band. The cold mist outside is watering the nursery plants, but inside the cafe it is warm and cozy as friends, neighbors and visitors enjoy music that draws out smiles. Beautiful images of California native landscape designs are on display, and talk of water conservation, green building practices and coastal sustainability are typical coffee-chat conversations in this unique coastal community that has formed over the past few years. This community is what Ken and Sally Coverdell have created with a little patience, focus and attention to the environment.

In 1977, the Coverdells bought a 2.5-acre coastal farm next to Nurserymen’s Exchange on Route 1 in Half Moon Bay. After running their Blue Sky Designs landscape company for many years, they were inspired to build a retail location, Blue Sky Farms nursery, across the highway from their farm. What started out as a simple barn project eventually took almost three years; the results became a model for green building on the coast, earning the Coverdells a water conservation award. After adding the coffee shop and kitchen, the barn quickly transformed into a restaurant — and the restaurant became a community focal point for the Miramar section of Half Moon Bay as neighbors began gravitating to the cafe. Sally gets up at 3:30 a.m. to do the baking and cooking because “plants can wait, but food service can’t.” Ken says, “Now that we have the cafe, we’ve met everyone” and points out several items in the barn that have been donated by neighbors.

Dave Sahn repairing a broken guitar string.

And met everyone they have, whether it’s chatting with the band members about their music, discussing water conservation with a local board member, teaching about recycling and composting, or providing advice to community members about how to balance beauty with conservation. “We’re passionate about water,” Ken says, noting that a little bit of patience, planning and thought can make all of the difference in landscape design. “People are often buying on impulse and want instant gratification. We’re focused on California natives, not just instant color.”

It is this type of environment that prompted members of the Lighthouse String Band to inquire a few years ago if they could practice their music at the cafe; they could indeed, and eventually wound up adopting the cafe as their regular Sunday morning gig. The Coverdells were more than excited. Ken says the band plays “the happiest, most loving music I’ve ever heard in my life.” And Sally adds: “So many families look forward to coming with young kids. They come inside, the windows steam up and people start smiling.” Raymond Tsang, one of the founding members of the band, says: “This is our favorite place to be. We try to promote Irish, Celtic and American folk music and we want to be on the coast, and on the coast there is not too much folk music.”

The band has a unique combination of vocals and instruments that include the fiddle, mandolin, guitar, bouzouki, hammered dulcimer, and bodhrán —an Irish frame drum. Whether the performance is out in the sun of the nursery garden or inside on a cozy morning, children dance around and friends, neighbors and visitors chat and smile.

Blue Sky Community: Lighthouse String Band members with Raymond Tsang, Cyndi Menzel and Helen Tsang with Ken Cloverdell.

The band has been together since 2009 and performs at several other coastal venues, including the local farmers markets. The band members — Robin Fish, Mary Maguire, Dave Sahn, Helen Tsang and Raymond Tsang (with Cyndi Menzel currently standing in for Robin Fish) — are also passionate about supporting their local community; 50 percent of their tips go to the San Mateo food bank. The band members who live nearby can often be found at the cafe when not playing, enjoying both the nursery’s plants and the cafe’s food. Tsang says: “Everything that I got from here stays good and healthy. … And the pecan roll is a killer; I’m addicted to it!”

Blue Sky Farms is located at 3068 N. Cabrillo Highway in Half Moon Bay, and can be reached at 650-726-5999.

Risk Mitigation for the NOW

I was recently doing research for an article on Northern California beaches and I came across this sign in Santa Cruz.  Pretty daunting, eh?  Makes you wonder why anyone would get in the water to go surfing or swimming.  But they do... and it got me to thinking about taking risks - why we do it and how do we mitigate against them in the face of uncertainty.  

 

Why do we take risks and what's really in it for us?  The common understanding is that we take risks in order to get to something that we feel we'll enjoy or something that will benefit us - essentially the whole risk/reward notion.   For example, surfers will brave the great white sharks hunting for seals off of the waters of Nor Cal because they love the experience of surfing the waves - for them the reward outweighs the risks.  And for those who may not be fully aware of the risks involved, they're super clearly outlined for them on the sign above. :)

But what about those situations where the 'sign' is not as obvious and the risks are not clearly known?  How do we make choices and move forward in the light of uncertainty?  We see something that we may want to 'try' but how do we know that we'll even like it or that it will benefit us.  There is an 'up-front' risk and our risk/reward guide doesn't know how to calculate it properly... so we freeze and the energy stops flowing.  If this happens repeatedly it can even become a recurring pattern of fear, limiting us from the full experience of life - no waves, no hang 10, no fun... real bummer dude.

 

One potential strategy for moving forward is to seek to mitigate the risk and in doing so shift the balance of the risk/reward equation in our favor.  This is where the potential upside (even though unknown) would still be perceived as greater than the risk because that risk has been minimized to make the 'math' work.  It does take a bit of negotiation but with a little practice it really can be achieved in most situations.  I know, because my wife and I try it with our son most evenings at the dinner table trying to get him to try something new to eat that he's never had before (his risk that it will taste yucky) by using some form of reward (dessert = something he knows he likes). :)

 

The difference with adults is that risks are very often 'thrust upon' us and risk mitigation is something that we usually have to practice by ourselves (no parents to guide us at the dinner table).  Whether it be a new project or role at work, making a new dinner recipe for your family, engaging socially with a new group, going in for the first kiss or trying surfing for the first time, we're confronted with risk situations almost daily.  We don't know if the reward will be worth it and the risks of failure (especially for a first time experience) appear to be fairly large - how do we mitigate these situations daily so that we are able to move forward and grow?

 

The strategy that I'll offer up today is a simple one - go to what you love and go to where you are strong when approaching a risky situation.  Realize that you don't have to take on ALL of a huge unknown risk today - you can scout it out and add to your knowledge base one activity at a time.  You may feel that you do have to brave the sharks, the cold water, the undertow, large waves and eroding cliffs all at once... but it's very rarely the case (it may just feel like it).  You could take each one on separately, mitigating the risk as you go along to see if the reward is really worth it - and enjoy the experience while you're at it.

 

So, as I sat looking at this sign I thought that perhaps there might be a better way to experience much of what was being offered but mitigate my risk in a way that worked for me and focused on what I loved and where I was strong - I came up with a risk mitigation plan that worked for me in the NOW.  Still some risk but something I could work with today and keep me moving forward:

 

 

All the Best,

Whitney

© 2012 All rights reserved, Whitney Merrill

Hidden Beaches of the Coast

Coastviews Magazine Article

by Whitney Merrill

August 2012— Feeling a bit harried? Coastside beaches are a great place to get away, relax and enjoy the summer months. Most of the main beaches are well marked and easily accessible from Highway 1, but there are a few hidden gems that are not visited as often and offer a more secluded beach experience. Here are a few lesser-known beaches that you might have overlooked or might want to revisit. All of the beaches listed will remain open this summer, unaffected by the closing of some California parks. Enjoy your summer at the beach!

Davenport Landing Beach

Davenport Landing Beach. Photos: Whitney Merrill.

Directions: Take Highway 1 and go 35 miles south of Half Moon Bay. Turn right on Davenport Landing Road; the beach and parking are about a half mile down on the left. Davenport Landing Road is 1¼ miles north of Ocean Street, the center of downtown Davenport. So if you get to Ocean Street, you’ve come too far; turn around and go back.
Overview: A wide sandy beach in a protected cove makes this a perfect spot for relaxing on a quiet beach to watch surfers, sailboats and sunsets. Originally the site of the whaling town of Davenport, it is now just a hidden white sand beach on the coast with a few homes overlooking the water. In the summer months the kelp beds are full of life and pelicans, cormorants and seals abound. As this beach is not marked from Highway 1 it is often overlooked by visitors and frequented by locals. The downtown of Davenport has a number of restaurants and stores to dine or grab picnic supplies for a day at the beach.

Davenport Landing Beach

Bean Hollow.

Directions: Take Highway 1 and go 18 miles south of Half Moon Bay, and 2½ miles south of Pescadero Road. There are two parking lots, the more southern lot offering access to the sandy crescent-shaped beach.
Overview: Although this beach is readily visible from Highway 1, beach-goers heading south from Half Moon Bay often stop at either the San Gregorio or Pescadero state beaches, leaving this beach with more room to stretch out your beach blanket. Additionally, when there is coastal fog or an ocean breeze, this cove provides shelter from the wind and the white sand provides warmth on marginal beach days. The shape of the beach also makes it easy to keep an eye on children and dogs — dogs are allowed on leash — and there are tide pools to enjoy at low tide. Nearby Pescadero provides several options for beach food and dining in town.

Ritz-Carlton Half Moon Bay Beach
Directions: Take Highway 1 and go 2½ miles south of Route 92 in Half Moon Bay. Turn right on Miramontes Point road; the parking lot is about a half mile down on the left. The paved path to the beach cuts directly through the golf course with protected fencing.

Half Moon Bay Ritz Beach.

Overview: This is a public access beach, well worth the 55 steps down to beach even if you’re not staying at the Ritz. This beautiful white sand beach is great for long romantic strolls and exploration of tide pools; it’s often overlooked because there are a limited number of parking spaces at the public access. However, the Ritz provides 25 additional parking spaces at the main building and you can also combine your visit to the beach with dining, golfing or a relaxing spa at the Ritz.

Maverick’s Beach & Pillar Point Harbor Beaches
Directions: Take Highway 1 and go 3½ miles north of Route 92 in Half Moon Bay. Turn left on Capistrano Road to Pillar Point Harbor. Continue past the harbor entrance to Prospect Way and turn left. Turn right on Broadway, then immediately left on Harvard. Continue to the end of Harvard. Turn right on West Point Avenue and go ½ mile to the Pillar Point Marsh parking lot. From the parking lot walk along the water to the harbor beach and then ¼ mile further to Maverick’s beach out around the bend.
Overview: Famous for the Maverick’s Big Surf competition and waves of up to 50 feet in the winter

Pillar Point Harbor.

season on the outside reef, the beaches inside of Pillar Point Harbor provide calm and relatively warm waters for children and are dog-friendly. If you round the corner out beyond the harbor wall there is a white sand beach with views of surfers and kayakers at high tide and the exposed reef at low tide. At the northern tip of Half Moon Bay this beach provides spectacular views of the bay and the coastal mountain range. The parking lot is sometimes full, but there is additional parking at the harbor mall and bike rentals are available for the short ride out to the beach.

Seal Cove Beach at Fitzgerald Marine Reserve
Directions: Take Highway 1 and go 5¾ miles north of Route 92 in Half Moon Bay; turn left on Cypress Avenue at the sign for the Moss Beach Distillery. Follow the signs to the Distillery where there is parking and then walk ¼ mile back along Beach Street until it intersects Cypress Avenue. The beach access, via stairs, can be found along the Bluff Trail.

Seal Cove Beach.

Overview: The newly constructed 100 steps down to this isolated white sandy beach have a landing with park signs to tell the story of the cove and its bootlegger history. At low tide the rocks of the Fitzgerald Marine Reserve are exposed and the tide pools are full of sea anemones, crabs, clams and snails. Seals frequent the beach and gray whales are a common sight just off shore. Stop at the nearby historical Moss Beach Distillery for a burger and beer on the patio or a more formal meal inside and you may catch a glimpse of the famous Blue Lady ghost.

On the Web:
www.halfmoonbaychamber.org/
visiting_hmb/beaches.html
www.parks.ca.gov
www.scparks.com
www.co.sanmateo.ca.us/portal/
site/parks/

The Stream of Positive Intentions

I was heading out for a nature hike for some Unavailable Time to recharge and reground when my son (who knew where I was headed) said "Daddy - will you say Hi to my stream that I love and throw in a magical rock?"  We've spent a good deal of time in nature together as father & son and both have a great affinity for water in all of it's forms so I knew exactly what he meant - he was asking me to make a wish for him, or as I would state it: to set a positive intention for the future.

Those of you who have children will know the challenges of making and keeping promises so I always look for 'easy' wins :) - this was one promise that I knew that I could keep so I said back to him "You Bet!" and also set a promise to do the same for myself.  The short drive to the stream and the subsequent hike through the forest allowed me some time to focus on what intention that I would set so when I did arrive at the stream I was good to go.

Over the years I have developed a discipline around setting intentions and holding/maintaining a positive focus to achieve the outcomes that I truly desire.  I've set intentions for everything that you can imagine - finding a new job, meeting my life partner, meeting someone who will advise & guide me on my path, a new car, inner guidance, tickets to a concert, having a healthy baby, a new pet, etc.  Today however I found myself with an intention of something broader so I went for it.

I selected a special rock from the creek side, held it to my chest, set my intention in my mind and spoke it into the rock - "I'm setting my intention to be a powerful force for good and change in the world."  I know, kind of a 'world peace-y' intention but it was what was in me and I've learned to just run with it over the years.  With that I threw the rock at the stream... and it bounced off a log and missed the pool I was aiming for.  Not exactly what I was hoping for here at all.  However, one of the reasons that my son and I love this stream is that it always seems to 'deliver'... so I waited.

And then the quiet voice inside of me said as clear as day: "Throw again."  Again, this is where continued practice can make the difference - the calm and quiet seems to create a space for these 'things' to occur - if you're quiet you can hear it but if you're running around all crazy you often miss it.  What also came with the voice was the picture of multiple rocks, not just one.  So I selected three more rocks, set the intention and threw again.  This time, they all flew straight and into the pool creating that splash and radiating wave of intention that I could feel already moving out into the universe - spot on.

I thought about this little intention experience and the meaning and interpretation came forth for me almost as bubble within - the true power of my intention was actually related to my impact on others, not just myself - hence the multiple stones.  By focusing on helping and assisting others to make a positive impact (vs. just myself) I am more likely to achieve my intention and not 'miss the stream'.  I could feel the power in that intention as well as the 'gift' of the specific insight as I walked away from the stream, ready to openly receive whatever is flowing my way next.

What I wanted to share today was less about my specific intention and more about how a practice of setting intentions and following a discipline can work for you (specifically).  I ask you to consider that a 'bounce off a log' while setting an intention may actually be a 'hello' regarding your intentions themselves.  If things don't exactly 'work out' as you intended or perhaps scripted out in your mind, consider trying again or resetting the intention with a more flexible range of outcomes or interpretations.  You may be surprised what you experience and your feelings will almost always validate for you when you are 'spot on'.

I have made a promise to a good friend of mine to write and share more, as well as keeping the promises to my son that are 'easy' to keep - I can only hope that this new intention that was set to today is part of the positive flow!

All the Best,

Whitney

© 2012 All rights reserved, Whitney Merrill

The Purpose of Level 1

My 4 year old son completed his first season of T-Ball this weekend and through all of the games and practices I was constantly reminded of the power and purpose of Level 1.  No matter how far we progress in life, we’ve all got to start at the beginning and T-Ball is what I will call your classic Level 1 experience.   Trying out your new baseball mitt for the first time, learning to catch and hit, your first time running the bases (in the right direction!), learning the positions, sitting on the bench and cheering on your teammates, etc. – it doesn’t get any more foundational than that.

For those of you who have played baseball before, I don’t know about you but I don’t remember T-Ball at all as a child.  I have vague memories of my early little league years but all I really remember was that at some point I knew how to play the game and it was a part of my childhood life.  Like any other new sport or activity that I participated in, I progressed through Level 1 and was eventually engaged in the activity at a higher level of experience, competency and awareness.  For reference, on a scale of 1-7, the San Francisco Giants game that my wife and I attended a few weeks was Level 7 (complete mastery of the game) all the way.

I am guessing that this is common for most of us as Level 1 can be quite a challenging/stressful experience and one that many of us strive to move through quickly so that we can get to the somewhat more enjoyable experience of ‘playing the game’.  My evidence of this is the first season of T-Ball where on my son’s the team the ball was rarely hit more than a tip off the tee (lots of whiffs), most ‘catches’ were bounces or ‘run afters’, throwing to first base was infrequent at best and where tears were at every one of the 24 practices and games (combined with parent hugs and consolations).  However, for every point of sadness, trepidation and confusion, there were 100 points of joy and laughter as the boys and girls learned and experienced together what it is to play a game and be part of a team.  This is part of the purpose of Level 1 – tough times combined with good times - a sometimes exhausting mixture of energies.

And of course, Level 1 is not just for the kids – it’s for the tribe as well.  Parents, grandparents, aunts & uncles, brothers & sisters, spectators, coaches and helpers – everyone collectively experiences Level 1 and often with more awareness and impact then those actually at Level 1.  As a parent, I personally experienced no small amount of learning and growth including:

• How to support on the sidelines and let my son go play on his own
• Encourage but not force when he didn’t want to go out on the field
• Be ready to provide hugs and support when the tears came but then to let him go back out again
• Be engaged but not ‘in your face’ with my cheers and parent 'pride'
• Let the coaches do the coaching.  :)

But what I really got out of my son’s T-Ball experience was a reminder about the golden ‘rules’ that I feel apply to almost all Level 1 life experiences.  Whether it be your first season of T-Ball, your first job, your first relationship, your first driving lesson or your first time being a parent, the purpose is to learn and grow - hopefully through love, laughter and joy.  I’m sure there are more, but here are a few that I will take forward with me as I engage in or guide/support others in Level 1 experiences:

1)      Level 1 is a protected space – you are safe when you ‘play’ here - no worries!

2)      Participation is key – everyone bats and plays every position (sometimes together)

3)      There is no scoring – everyone bats and everyone wins

4)      When coaching or guiding someone at Level 1, remember to speak to them at their level

5)      Remember, you’re here to have fun and enjoy the game (of life)

All the Best,

Whitney

© 2012 All rights reserved, Whitney Merrill

Green Car on the Coast

Coastviews Magazine Article

Forrest's Nissan Leaf in Frenchman's Creek, HMB

If you’ve seen a red Nissan Leaf driving around Half Moon Bay with the license plate HMBLITZ, then you’ve seen one of the first 100 percent electric cars on the coast. What you may not have noticed was the lack of engine noise —with no combustion engine there’s no combustion-engine sound, and no emissions — and the lack of a tailpipe. You may also not have noticed Scott Forrest driving the car, as by his own admission he’s a pretty shy person, quietly doing his own thing.
Forrest purchased his Nissan Leaf and has been commuting to work in Palo Alto since April 2011, but for him it started back about the year 2000, when he took a class at the University of California, Berkeley, about global warming. “It was a huge eye-opener,” says Forrest. “Global ocean levels will rise for the next 1,000 years with the CO2 we’ve already put in the atmosphere. We’re making the earth a lot less fun place to live for generations. It will probably take us another 1,000 years to get back to where we were. Once I knew that I felt morally compelled.”

Forrest has had solar panels on his roof in Frenchman’s Creek since 2003 and estimates that 50 percent of his power is now solar. Previously he drove a Toyota Prius and by the calculations from PG&E’s Carbon Footprint Calculator, the Nissan Leaf is saving him almost as much money and CO2 per year — 2,900 pounds of CO2 annually — as his solar panels. Forrest notes that it’s very inexpensive to drive. He figures he’ll save $6,000-$10,000 in gas over 100,000 miles, compared to what he’d spend driving a Prius. And compared to a conventional car getting approximately 30 miles per gallon, he’d save much more. His electric bill for the car for December was only about $20.

We go for a ride in the car and Forrest lets me drive. It is surprisingly similar to a regular car, other than the sound, and handles well; it’s peppy and has good pickup. The batteries are completely hidden under the floor so there is a full trunk and normal seating space. The pedals are the same as those of other cars, with a brake and accelerator. As Forrest says: “It’s not exactly a gas pedal. I don’t know what to call it.”

There’s no gas gauge on the car; instead, it has a charge gauge to estimate driving range. Forrest’s work commute is about 50 miles and he estimates the Leaf has a driving range of about 75-90 miles. It currently takes him seven hours to fully charge at home from dead-empty and there are no-cost chargers at his work and in many locations around the Bay Area, including various city and airport garages. There’s also a website — and a related app for the iPhone and Android — that lists several hundred private citizens who will offer a charge; Forrest is one of those citizens.

As we return home from our drive, Forrest comments: “February feels like summer in Half Moon Bay; that’s not an accident. The ornamental plum tree in my front yard is now in full bloom and dropped its last leaf four weeks ago. There is nothing as giant a problem as global warming.” I ask Forrest if he feels like he is saving the planet and he says: “It’s not the planet I’m trying to save, it’s the people. It’s the people that are suffering.”

Forrest went to the Half Moon Bay City Council in January to request a municipal charging station be installed, yet he says: “I don’t consider myself leading by example. This problem is going to be solved by individuals doing the right thing, and the tools to do the right thing are now becoming available. I couldn’t have done this 10 years ago; now I can. My carbon footprint is now 20 percent of what it was 15 years ago and my life is completely unchanged.”

When you see the license plate HMBLITZ or notice Forrest driving his Nissan Leaf on the coast, take a minute to consider that there are now new tools and technologies to allow you to make a difference in the world around you, perhaps even one quiet and green car at a time.

- by Whitney Merrill, April 2011

Coastviews Magazine Article Link

On the Web:
www.nissanusa.com/leaf-electric-car
www.pge.com/about/environment/calculator/
www.plugshare.com

Unavailable Time (Best of BLOG)

In our modern world full of cell phones, Internet communications, 24/7 media, social networking and email, there are many entities that have created business goals to provide 100% Availability for these systems and utilities. While perhaps valuable as a service where competition is high and engendering loyal customers is key, somehow the assumption has crept into our culture that we as consumers must therefore be available to receive these services or we are 'missing out' on the experience.

In just a short period of time, we have gone from being a society where people have substantial periods of what I will call "Unavailable Time" to having none at all. The vast majority of people in America are now able to be reached 24/7 via some form of communication at a moment's notice. This is not a comment on the lack of value or quality of such services - I will suggest that if they were not of value we would not pay money for them. Simply taking a look at a household's annual spending for these services can give us an idea of the relative worth (i.e. many people will pay their cell phone bill over their gas/electric bill when push comes to shove). What has gone relatively unnoticed is the cost to our own lives of not having this 'Unavailable Time', specifically with regard to the ability to take a 'break' on a regular basis. There is a cost to being 100% available and it often shows itself in depression, illness, lack of well-being and a general sense of malaise that many people experience on a daily basis.

Unfortunately, this cost has crept up on us while we were enjoying our new 'toys'. The wave of these new forms of communication has hit us so fast that we have not had time to absorb the impact that this has had upon us. I can remember a time in just my short lifetime where I could turn on the TV and get the 'bars', where "You've got Mail" was what the postman said and where "We're not right here now, please leave a message at the beep and we'll get back to you when we get home" actually meant 'leave a message'! Taking a drive in your car or taking a walk in the woods actually meant that you could not be reached for a period of time. It was still possible to 'summer' as a verb at a location where bills would not be received and you had to take cash out of your bank account to fund the vacation/get-away.

As an exercise to illustrate this wave of change, think back to a special moment from your childhood to a time when you did not have a cell phone or email or 24/7 cable TV. Choose an event, either in solitude or with friends/family and remember how it felt to be in that moment and experiencing that special time. Relive that moment and let yourself be young again with the freedom and energy of youth. Then imagine your cell phone ringing/vibrating in your pocket the middle of that event... this is the world that many of us are living in today. In that moment we would very likely reach for the cell phone and sever the moment - instinct now has us responding to the cord of connection to a 24/7 communications culture.

Fortunately, we always have choice. It does requires a conscious choice in today's culture, but we have the choice nonetheless. You can indeed choose periods of Unavailable Time, if only for brief periods that will enable you do disconnect and experience part of that freedom and energy that was a common occurrence not too long ago. For in saying "No" to 100% Availability, you are actually making yourself more readily available to Source and your True Self. It is unlikely that you will cancel your cell phone or Facebook account, but you could turn it off for periods at a time - along with your home phone, Internet and Cable TV. You could do this while you are meditating or reading or walking in nature, or you could just do this when you are in your car, having coffee/drinks with a friend or having dinner with your family at home.

More proactively, you could even decide to go on a long weekend trip with your significant other and not tell anyone where you are going, leave your cell phones turned off (in the glove box for emergencies if you are so inclined) and not check email until you get home. For those of you who have children and/or dependents - you could make arrangements to have them cared for (or you could bring them with you without their cell phones & laptops) and perhaps just leave an emergency number where you will be staying. Your parents were able to figure this out and their parents before them, etc., etc. The point is simply that you could choose some 'Unavailable Time' but it will likely have to be a conscious choice where previously it was a common occurrence.

As an exercise in validation, you could just 'try it out', one step at a time. My suggestion would be to start with just 15-20 minutes a day of 'Unavailable Time' for 2 weeks and see what you begin to notice. You could then try adding-in 1-2 hour blocks weekly with 2-3 day blocks a few times a year. Even the act of planning a 'retreat' for several months in advance or a 'vacation' from availability for a few years in the future can hold a bright spot of possibility in your future. Each conscious act of Choice towards connecting to Source grounds you and makes the next subsequent act that much easier. Time builds upon time and suddenly new patterns begin to emerge. This is the magic of 'Unavailable Time' - you never know what you may find if you do not seek.

All the Best,
Whitney
© 2012 All rights reserved, Whitney Merrill

"If you do not change direction, you may end up where you are heading." - Lao Tzu

So Fast

Recently, I found myself feeling a sense of Loss due to the fact that my son is growing up So Fast.  I was looking at pictures from him @ 1 and 2 years old and feeling that I had not been fully present to those moments.  The sleepless nights and experiences of new parenting seemed to put everything into overdrive, like life rushing by the open window of a car going down the highway at 75 MPH. 

Thanks to the magic and ease of digital photography, I can now see pictures of him and us everywhere - smiling and having the best times.  Sometimes it is a pleasant memory that fills my heart with joy but sometimes it has me wishing that I had been more present or awake :).   I can then hear My Mind question: "Why does it have to all go So Fast?"  Often, from that thought comes the sense that I Missed something...and a feeling of Loss is activated.

When I notice this feeling it immediately reminds me to take a breath and pause.  If needed I will take a walk or find a space to clear my mind and meditate - for I know that this feeling is not my True Self.  It is separate from and distinct from the love and joy that I have in my heart for my family, my son, my wife, my friends and myself.  It is not True, but the Mind in it's fear based mode of resisting what truly is, is actually telling me what I need to do.

It's telling me that it's all going So Fast, so that I can choose to just slow down a bit.  Not come to a grinding halt, but perhaps take my foot off the gas for a minute and pull over into the slow lane - maybe down to 65 MPH for a while instead. :)  It's also telling we where I need to slow down, in this case with regards to my son and the fact that I'm perhaps missing some of the moments by not taking my time.

And when I commit to slowing down and spending some additional time, then my Mind wants me to play catch up, making me feel that I have to somehow re-capture that time that I feel that I've Lost.  Because if I do, then I'll be all set and everything will be 'perfect'!  I have to catch myself here for that is not me either... that 'clever' Mind! :)

In this case, what I decided to do was have a spontaneous camping trip in our backyard.  It was easy and wonderful and fun - just like the feeling in my True Self when I know that it's connected to the Universe.  It slowed everything down and we had a great time staying up listening to the frogs and crickets and owls until we both fell asleep under the stars and the moon.  We even slept in late (a rare occasion in our family) and woke to the sound of the horses neighing in the field next door. 

I may look back on this picture many years from now and wonder again why everything has gone So Fast, but I'll always remember what he said to me as we were packing up the next morning - "I love camping with you Daddy - it's my favorite."

All the Best,

Whitney

© 2012 All rights reserved, Whitney Merrill

Attached To When

When engaging in our daily lives, there is a strong tendency for us to fixate on When something is going to happen for us.  We live in a frenetic, complicated and busy world and at times it can seem like the best approach is to attempt to control a little slice of it for our own peace of mind.  'If I just do this one thing then...' or if 'I can finally get this other thing then...' or 'I must achieve this by such and such a date...', have become common phrases for many of us.

However, when you look into Nature you don't see this occurring with the same constraint of attachment.  You see everything in movement and growth, but no When.  You see animals going about their lives doing much of the same things that we do - waking up, going out to find food for themselves and their family, playing, exploring, sleeping and going to bed again each day.  You see plants reaching for the sun, water flowing in its courses, rocks weathering the test of time and air continuously circulating around the Earth.  All of this occurs without a controlled schedule of When but it all happens.  There is a Flow of days, seasons and years created by the continuous movement of the planets but there is no Stop and no Resistance - there just is. 

When we fixate on When, what we are actually doing is attempting to Stop the Flow.  The illusion in our Mind is that When we actually get what we want we will have that 'peace' of mind.  When we close that deal and hit our number for the month, When we get the job that we 'always' wanted, When we solve or heal the problem, When we buy the house that we were saving for or When we loose the 10 pounds that we were 'just' trying to lose for 2 years, then we will be OK and we can rest!  Phew! :) But the reality is that there is always going to be another When and there is never going to be a real Stop.

The planets and galaxies will not stop their rotations (anytime soon) and everything in the world and Universe around us will remain in continuous movement and Flow.  Our job (or another one) will be there, we will likely move again, we will have more problems and we will likely gain a few more pounds back, and then lose them again.  We know this, and yet our fixated Mind immediately comes back to 'But I just need This one thing now' or I'll work on That later, etc., etc.

My suggestion for addressing this is to not turn away or try and pretend that you don't have some of these fixations but to acknowledge where you have the Whens in your life and ask yourself "Why do I?" 

As examples:

 - Why do I need to hit my numbers to be at the top of the leader-board for the month?

 - Why do I want a new job?

 - Why do I the new house?

 - Whey do I want that relationship?

 - Why do I need to heal or fix this problem?

 - Why do I want to loose 10 pounds?

The hint and clue here is as much in the Why? as it is in the 'I'.  Ask yourself if these are really your goals.  Are you perhaps 'sharing' these goals with someone else (like a spouse, co-worker or family member) and 'riding along on their coat-tails?'  Are these Whens things that you were taught earlier in life and now believe are your own?  Who in your life wants you to have these Whens? Whether it be in our jobs, our family or friends - attachment to When is everywhere around us.  Seeing it for ourselves if often the challenge.

However, the great thing is that each and every When is an opportunity to learn more about ourselves so that we can consciously Choose what it is that we really want.  By noticing the attachment to the When, we then have the opportunity to let it go.  In doing so we leave more room and energy for that which our True Self really wants to do.   And, when we are doing what we really want to do, it feels timeless and it is Flow - there is no Stop and no Resistance.  We are in tune with Nature and the rhythm of the Universe.  There is no suffering and there is no When, there is just right here, right NOW.

Just take a minute to remember what it feels like to do something that you really love to do ... fun, easy, exciting, peaceful, joyful... true bliss.  It is that vibration that will guide you as you ask yourself whether you really need the When.... or Why.  

All the Best,

Whitney

© 2012 All rights reserved, Whitney Merrill

"To say 'I Love You', one must first be able to say the 'I'.  - Ayn Rand

Stormy Weather

The sun doesn't shine every day. Sometimes it rains a tiny bit, and sometimes is pours. And sometimes it just looks like it might, and never quite gets there. It's cold and windy and it feels like you might get dumped on at any minute... but it doesn't.

Sometimes, this is even more difficult than having it actually rain, and getting totally soaking wet. Like watching a suspenseful movie and being on-edge because you have the feeling that at any moment that something's going to jump out at you. Makes you want to close your eyes and hide yourself away.

But it's the Contrast of life that makes it all real and wonderful. If every day were mild, predictable and sunny we probably wouldn't appreciate them very much after a while. Isn't it always the beautiful day after a period of dreariness that we remember - and the longer the period of dreariness, the more wonderful the sun?

So, what if you were to really dig into the Contrast, getting up close and personal without any blinders on? Rather than staying inside and waiting for the clouds to clear, what if you were to stand out on the cliff of life with your face into the wind just daring the clouds to 'bring it on'. What might that look and feel like?

It might be a bit scary at first...

... and it make take some adjustment until you get properly oriented to the weather, work on your footing and get firmly grounded.

Also, with a good blow, you might have to get your back up...

















... and have to really lean into it!

The Contrast of Stormy Weather - how will you know that you don't like it if you haven't tried it before!?

All the Best,

Whitney

© 2012 All rights reserved, Whitney Merrill

"If you understand, things are just as they are; if you do not understand, things are just as they are." - Zen proverb