You Have Landed

Yosemite Falls and Meadow

During the time of the Winter Solstice I practice a ritual of expressing my gratitude to those who have shifted my life for the better during the past year and to set new intentions for the coming year.  In support of this I take a break from my normal patterns in order to connect 1on1 with a number of people in my community.  Through my conversations and reflecting on the year I often find myself commenting at how quickly life can change and how a simple first introduction can lead you down an entirely new Path in life.  Like a airplane course correcting in mid-flight, sometimes all it takes is a few degrees of movement to alter your vector and put you on course with someone new who changes our life fundamentally.

I also remind myself that no matter how far that I think that I have flown over the course of the year that I Have Landed right here and right now by my own choices, regardless of what has transpired.  Where I find myself pointing the finger at external sources, I turn that finger around to myself and invariably find that that is where it all starts.   This is confronting (of course) but every year I find that it gets a little easier and my Path is a little more clear.

In a quiet corner or perhaps on a walk in nature I spend some time contemplating the choices, intentions and beliefs that directed my Path over the last year.  If any of these are limiting, fearful or lack True Personal Power I set an intention to let them go.  From where I Have Landed, I consider my Next Step and seek incremental change from where I am in the direction of where I want to go.  I also seek advice and wisdom from Trusted Advisors to assist me in Seeing that which I am unable or unwilling to see from my current vantage point and to assist me in staying focused throughout the year.

I know that I will fly again but for today, I just notice where I Have Landed.  I touch the earth and ground - I am right here.

All the Best,

Whitney

© 2010 All rights reserved, Whitney Merrill

The Santa Claus Intention

The other day my wife and I had the opportunity to take our 3 year old son to see Santa Claus so that he could have a little chat with him.  As you can see he was very excited about this event and really enjoyed the experience.  For the record, I think Santa did too and may actually be a NY Jets fan!  While we were waiting in line a few minutes before going up to sit with Santa I asked my son "What are you going to ask Santa for Christmas?"  He promptly replied with a big smile "Candy Canes!"  I then made the 'novice' parent move of asking the follow-up question "Do you want anything else for Christmas?" but he just looked at me again with a smile and repeated "Candy Canes!"

We were moved by the simplicity and joy of his wish and it brought me back to the magic of the holidays that I experienced as a young child.  It also reminded me that we all come into this world with different desires and wishes for ourselves - some people want Candy Canes and some people want something else.  Furthermore, sometimes we get what we ask for and sometimes we don't.  However, it is the clarity and focus of our Intention that ultimately make the difference in this regard.  Knowing what you want and speaking your Truth comes pretty easily for children - I am always amazed at how difficult it can be for most adults.

It is very likely that after a few years on this planet that you will have experienced some disappointments and perhaps gotten a little 'gun shy' when it comes to asking for what you want.  However, I'd like to suggest that that's what Santa is for - to inspire and remind us each year to ask ourselves what we really want to experience in our lives.   Think of Santa as a magical messenger from your childhood who can connect you back to the time when your natural state was to just ask for what you wanted and expect that the Universe (Santa) would provide.

The suggested exercise here is a simple one - just to practice asking and receiving in the spirit of a child.  I recommend lighting a candle in a quiet space and as you are doing so state aloud what it is that you want in your life - then expect it to arrive.  Your Santa Claus Intention for yourself can be anything that you want as long as it is something that you really, really, really want (like Candy Canes)!  The clarity and focus of your Intention will invariably effect the time for 'delivery' but the important thing to remember is that the second that you state your Intention, Santa starts to fire up his sleigh.  Oh, and it doesn't hurt to keep lighting your candle and leave out milk and cookies - BTW, Santa told my son that his favorite is chocolate chip. :)

In this particular case, what do you think the chances are that my son is going to get Candy Canes from Santa Clause?  I think it's very close to 100% - don't you?

All the Best,
Whitney
© 2010 All rights reserved, Whitney Merrill

7 Steps to Successful Coastside Caroling

Every year my family has a neighborhood caroling party during the holiday season. People often come to our holiday parties with the intention of “sitting this one out” — but they almost always find themselves out with the group having a great time. I am sharing my family caroling recipe to inspire you to make it out this year.

1. Plan for weather.
On the Coastside, we plan for rain and fog on caroling night and treat it as a challenge. In my opinion, part of caroling is going out to share good cheer in spite of the weather. Where I grew up we would plan for the worst case, freezing rain — and every few years we’d get lucky and have snow. However, with the proper coat, boots and umbrella protection, caroling can be quite an enjoyable experience no matter what the weather. And if you have a fireplace at home, have lots of logs and remind everyone that you’ll warm them up when you return!

2. Have instruments for all.
The guideline here is that everyone gets to play an instrument in addition to singing. Many people have stage — or doorstep — fright, and having a drum, bell, rattle, tambourine, banjo, guitar, accordion, trumpet, whistle or kazoo will help to bolster their courage. Also, the instruments help to drown out those singers who are tone deaf!

3. Know your playlist.
Print out sheet music and agree upon a few “traveling songs.” It’s very easy to find and download that music from the Internet; just search for caroling sheet music and you’ll find lots to choose from. Sing a few songs at each doorstep, and have a song or two to sing between houses. Pick songs where everyone knows the words, like “Jingle Bells” or “Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer” — and then have a surprise song or two, like “Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer.”

4. Start singing inside first.
Starting a handful of songs and practicing with instruments indoors gets everybody in the spirit. I have found that although only a few die-hards have pre-committed to the outdoor event, you will be able to attract many more if you can get your partygoers singing and engaged. There is nothing like being out in the neighborhood at night during the holidays with everyone’s lights and decorations!

5. Plan your route.
Choose an easy and safe route for your caroling, preferably one where you can start out from your own front door. I have found that somewhere between seven and 10 houses is a great place to start and I usually tell three to four of them that we will be showing up! Also, the best time to go out is right after dinner, before people have put their younger children to bed.

6. Light your way like Rudolph.
I encourage everyone to bring a flashlight or headlamp; glow-in-the-dark tube sticks or battery-powered string lights for the little ones are essential. Open flames are discouraged, but I have been known to roast chestnuts on a small grill and cart that around on a wagon. If you’re going the wagon route, you can carry extra supplies and refreshments as well!

7. Giving is receiving.
Before we leave the house on our caroling journey, I like to remind everyone that the energy you put out will ultimately come back to you in so many ways. Just having a positive attitude and sharing a little cheer can go a long way and set the tone for the entire year.

I hope to see you out this year and wish you all happy Coastside caroling!

© 2010 All rights reserved, Whitney Merrill

This is an article that was published in Coastviews Magazine in the December 2010 issue: http://coastviewsmag.com/7-steps-to-successful-coastside-caroling

Useful Diversions

There are times when we will come up to what we perceive as an energetic 'Wall'.  Our perceived forward progress will come to a halt and we will be able to Feel the Resistance that we are encountering.  If we are unable to find a Way Through or a Way Around, sometimes the best approach is to find a Useful Diversion.

The difference between a Useful Diversion and just 'twiddling our thumbs' is that it is Useful in terms of Energy management and a Diversion is such a way that it frees our Mind from the pattern that is ultimately creating the Wall.  For some people, 'twiddling your thumbs' may actually provide an energetic rejuvenation but for many the act of sitting and and twiddling will result in stress & tension, and therefore act as an energy drainer. The key in the Usefulness of the Diversion is to find some activity or non-activity that will serve to provide rejuvenation or 'a breather' so that upon completion we have more energy then when we started.

As to the Diversion for the Mind, I will refer to the 'Ghandi equation' (as I call it) for reference:

"Your beliefs become your thoughts. Your thoughts become your words. Your words become your actions. Your actions become your habits. Your habits become your values. Your values become your destiny." - Mahatma Gandhi

When we are experiencing a Wall, we are essentially confronting a pattern or belief that is no longer in alignment with where we are NOW or where our Vision is leading us.  There is an energetic break in the flow from belief through to destiny that requires repair or re-alignment - until we know what that is we are often 'stopped' at the Wall.  This is where a Useful Diversion can be an extremely powerful exercise.

I am personally a big fan of the Monterey Bay Aquarium as Water is both rejuvenating (True Rest) and grounding (True Play) for me.  The flow of the water and the movement of the sea life serves to re-connect me to the greater flow of energy in our world and Universe, thereby allowing me to step back from my own limiting patterns and See them with a new perspective.  After I visit I often find that my Wall is no longer there or perhaps I can see a Way Through or Around that I had not noticed before.

Oh, and it's fun too! :)

All the Best,
Whitney
© 2010 All rights reserved, Whitney Merrill

Personal Time for Family Time

During the holidays many of us experience a significant increase in Family Time.  We may see relatives that we have not seen for quite a while or if we live close to relatives we may experience an increased family concentration or intensity of engagement.  While often joyful and wonderful it is important to remember that Family Time can consume large amounts of energy.  The tendency for many is to over-indulge during the holidays with both food & drink as well as family interaction.  In both cases, we may feel the after-effects of an 'energetic hangover' as we come down off the high to find our personal energetic reserves drained.

While the preventative measures and remedies for food & drink over-indulgence are common knowledge (i.e. drink lots of water, Alka-Seltzer and tomato juice, etc.), Family Time over-indulgence also has it's own 'medicine' - known better as Personal Time.  This is simply what is sounds like - Personal time spent (alone) to recharge your batteries and keep your energetic reserves refreshed.   Simply taking a pause from the fray can do wonders to refreshing yourself and keeping you grounded.

If you already include a good amount of Personal Time in your daily life, the key here is to continue this during the holidays but increase it to account for additional energetic needs.  If you do not currently engage in Personal Time, the holidays is a great time to start this practice as many people often have some additional time off from work, school or various projects at this time of the year.

The prescribed dosage  for Personal Time during the holidays is 2-3 short periods of time (15-20 minutes) + 1 extended period (45-60 minutes) each day.  If Personal Time is new to you then this may seem excessive, but please note that the short and extended periods of time can be something that you may already do like a quiet cup of coffee or tea, taking the dog for a walk, doing your nails/make-up, sitting in an easy chair in a corner or a relaxing bath or shower.  The focus here is in how you engage in your Personal Time and whether it recharges you or not.  Learning what is True Personal Time for you is part of the process as well.

The suggestion here is to seek to intentionally transform your current alone periods into Personal Time moments.  By simply focusing you awareness on the activity of recharging and preparing yourself for Family Time, you will draw extra energy to you during your Personal Time.  Even if you find yourself unable to get out or to manifest an extended period, taking a short break in the bathroom to douse a little water on your face or light a small candle in quiet corner can do wonders.  Just enjoy your Family Time and your Personal Time!

Happy Thanksgiving!
Whitney
© 2010 All rights reserved, Whitney Merrill

Un-Reasonable Requests

We live in a world where Reason dictates many of the decisions and actions of people.  While useful to one part of our experience - what of the Other?  What happens when we leave Reason behind and step into the Un-Known?  Can we shift our energetic patterns and release our hold on the reality that we have created and often strain so hard to maintain?  Are we ready to take that leap?  Is this something that you have even considered doing at this point along your Path?  If yes, then feel free to read on.  If not, then I suggest that you file this one away for a later time.

One tool that I utilize to test my resolve in confronting the Un-Known is to make Un-Reasonable Requests.  This is a request that arises not from Reason but from somewhere else and it openly expressed to someone with no expectation of outcome.  It is a request that defies Reason but it is not necessarily inappropriate, unprofessional, uncouth, uncaring or unbelievable - it is just un-reasonable.  This is the request that you would not normally make of another but you know is a powerful one to make.  It provides clarity and complete awareness of the moment that a normal reasonable request would not provide.  It can also set your free.

The suggested exercise is to pick someone that you care about where you have a belief that is limiting you or causing your distress. You then confront that belief head-on with your Un-Reasonable request and see what transpires.  A simple example might be: "My friend never comes to visit me, I wish he would and it upsets me that he doesn't."  Then you get on the phone, call him up and Un-Reasonably request that he come visit you in the very near future - by the way, your friend lives in New Zealand and has a fear of flying.  He can say no, or he can say yes - but you are committed to the request and the potential the visit - either way.

What you do with an Un-Reasonable request is you empower yourself with your Communication and you empower others with Choice.   Also, it brings you into the Un-Known of the outcome - the bigger the request, the bigger the jump.

All the Best,
Whitney
© 2011 All rights reserved, Whitney Merrill

Family Moments

During the holiday season I will be devoting one BLOG post a week to energetic communication with Family.  My first post comes on the heels of a visit from my fraternal uncle who was in the Bay Area for the long weekend and took the time to meet up with me, my wife and son on his way to the airport.

We picked my uncle up at the train station and ended up at a local diner having a second breakfast where my son tried his first bite of french toast.  For those that have children, keeping an active ~3yr old entertained for over an hour can be a challenge but I think that we all handled it pretty well.  It was a great meal and allowed us to catch up on family 'news and the weather'.  I have fond memories of my uncle growing up and he was one of the reasons that I decided to migrate to the Bay Area years ago.  He has since retired to Asheville, North Carolina so there are not many opportunities to connect in person as there used to be - it was a rare treat.

My energetic intention for a brief visit like this is to experience at least one memorable event, or what I call a 'Family Moment' - something that connects people together at the heart and is remembered long beyond the visit.  As the years go by, I have learned not necessarily to expect this while everyone is dressed up, sitting at the table and the turkey is brought out of the kitchen 'a la' Norman Rockwell (but for the record I have had a few of those as well).  I have found from experience that true Family Moments normally come when people let down their guard or when you least expect it.

In this case our Family Moment came as the 3 'boys' headed to the diner's restroom after the meal.  My son is in the potty training stage so we take every opportunity we can get to 'practice'.  It was a small bathroom but enough room for the 3 of us and upon finishing up I lifted my son up to the sink to wash his hands.  When he was done with the soap and water he reached over the the paper towel dispenser and it was one of those with the motion sensor.  Wow!  The joy of a 3 yr old with a new found discovery had us all enjoying a moment of hilarity.  The love and laughter was everywhere in the bathroom and something that connected us across time, space and 3 generations - it was a moment that I will always remember.

What this Family Moment also made me appreciate and feel was that my uncle not only took the time to come and visit, but to be present while he was visiting.  So often, we travel and visit family and are barely present through our own issues, concerns and drama.  Sometimes just a little 'pause in the restroom' is all that it takes to be present to where you are: with family and those that love you.

This Family Moment had me re-affirm my own personal intention as I head out to see my niece and nephew over Thanksgiving to create a moment or two for their childhood.  I'll be looking for more of them with the rest of my family over the holiday season with more visits in store.  My suggested exercise is that you set a similar intention for yourself and see what transpires.  Just one is all it takes and you'll have heart and laughter in your holidays that will last well beyond the season.

All the Best,
Whitney
© 2010 All rights reserved, Whitney Merrill

Middlespace

For many people, there is a gap between what they say that they are going to do and what they actually do.  This can either be in the timeliness of the action or the action itself.  As an example, "I will meet you at the park at 5pm.": they are either there at 5pm, they arrive at another time or they don't show at all.  Additionally, they can either be conscious of this gap or unconscious: they are aware that they were late or missed the engagement, or it 'totally slipped their mind'.  This gap is what I refer to as 'middlespace' and when we are conscious of it in ourselves, we are provided with a great opportunity to increase our energetic reserves and personal power.

You can see the energy drain in those who live in the world of middlespace - they are consistently late or missing appointments, prone to over-promising & under-delivering to those around them and often not aware of the impact of this on others.  They are usually stressed, overwhelmed and harried - comments like "I can never get caught up" or "I'm maxxed" are frequently expressed.  They also tend to perceive the energy drainers in their life as external, as opposed to looking inward at themselves.

Seeing this in ourselves is usually more challenging but the benefits of stopping the energy draining effects of middlespace are there nonetheless. My exercise for this is simple and one that suggest practicing for a few minutes each day.  Find a place where there are two chairs or seats and make yourself comfortable in one of them.  Imagine yourself in the other chair and then ask yourself if there are any gaps between your communication and actions.  Note what comes to mind and record this for review later (either by writing or recording or both).

For each middlespace gap that you discover create an intention to close the gap, reminding yourself to be patient and compassionate with yourself along the way.  This is not about judgment - this is simply about noticing 'What is' and creating an intention to bridge the gap.  I often do this in my car on my commute home from work, dialoguing with myself in the passenger seat - I then leave myself a voice message at work that is there for me when I arrive the next morning.  This can be a bit confronting at first but the energy gain if usually quite dramatic so well worth the effort.  I encourage you to go easy on yourself, take it one day at a time and notice what transpires for you.   The power of middlespace is there for you to utilize - you just need to claim it for your own.

All the Best,
Whitney
© 2010 All rights reserved, Whitney Merrill

'Great acts are made up of small deeds.' - Lao Tzu

Giving and Receiving from Where You Are

We had a break in the rain this weekend and I had the opportunity to explore our neighborhood with my son as he rode around on his tricycle.  Being so close to the ground I was amazed at all of the things that he noticed along our journey.  It had me stop and look around more closely myself - seeing the world through the eyes of a 2yr old is a truly wondrous experience.

There was water flowing along the curb from the rainstorms so I took a few flower petals and showed him how they would float and travel all the way to the storm drain.  It was as though I had given him ice cream for the first time - the joy and wonder of a new found discovery was written all over his face.  We played for quite a while and as we headed home he kept one of the flowers, putting it on the back of his tricycle.  Upon returning home he walked in the house exclaiming "I got a flower for your Mommy!" - the happiness and magic of receiving a gift was evident there as well.

This experience reminded me that we all have the opportunity to give and receive from where we are.  I might not have the opportunity to walk our neighborhood again while my son is still young enough to ride his tricycle but I will always remember our first time floating flower petals along the curb.  My son might not remember to pick a flower home for his Mom on each adventure but she will always remember the times that he did.

Just remember, we all have the opportunity to give and receive from where we are - Right Now.

All the Best,
Whitney
© 2010 All rights reserved, Whitney Merrill

'If you want to be enthusiastic, act enthusiastic.'  - Dale Carnegie

Praise as a Paddle

As with water flowing downstream, we can choose to flow in the shadow of the rocks or sparkle lightly upon the surface.  We can look downstream (to see where we are going) and upstream (to see where we have been), but to maneuver yourself in this flow it is sometimes necessary to 'dip your paddle' in the water where you are right now.  How you do this can make all the difference in steering you away from obstacles and keeping you flowing easily along your journey.

Communicating praise to others is one of the best methods for guiding your 'paddle' to assist you in your course adjustments.  By 'pinging' others with praise, we learn exactly where we are, where we have been and where we are going through the process of validation.  What we are saying with praise is "I like this about you", "There is a part of me that aligns positively with that part of you" and "We are flowing in the clear water together in this regard."  Conversely, criticism says the opposite and ultimately serves to slow our journey and muddy the waters, making it difficult to navigate or stay on the surface.

At first we may make 'tentative' strokes or perhaps even 'over adjust' with our praise, but as with anything practice and repetition can assist us in developing mastery and eventually navigating by 'auto-pilot'.  A daily suggested practice is to praise 3 people: one in your present, one from your 'past' and one from your 'future', where 'past' and 'future' refer to people that are floating either upstream of downstream of you right now.  Examples of 'past' might be a former boss, co-worker, mentor or friend who you still admire but are not actively communicating with right now.  'Future' might be someone you just newly met who inspired or excited you.  And 'Present' could be your spouse/significant other, close family member/friend or just someone that you see each day at the coffee shop.

In praising, simply find one thing that you like, respect or notice as positive about that person and communicate that to them.  Start with 3 people and then continue the practice each day, observing how you are flowing along your journey.  Are you flowing on the surface or under the rocks?  You choose.

All the Best,
Whitney
© 2010 All rights reserved, Whitney Merrill 

'Praise is like sunlight to the human spirit, we cannot flower and grow without it.' - Jesse Lair

Prioritization: The Mayonnaise Jar

The following was sent to me by a friend and I felt that it fit so well with the recent theme of Prioritization that so many have been focusing on recently that I have posted it in it's entirety (below). Enjoy!

The Mayonnaise Jar & A Cup of Coffee

When things in your life seem almost too much to handle, When 24 hours in a day is not enough; remember the mayonnaise jar and 2 cups of coffee.

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him.  When the class began, wordlessly, he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and started to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.

The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured it into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls.  He then asked the students again if the jar was full.   They agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else.  He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with an unanimous 'yes.'

The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.

'Now,' said the professor, as the laughter subsided, The golf balls are the important things - family, children, health, friends, and favorite passions. Things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full. The pebbles are the things that matter like your job, house, and car.  The sand is everything else -- The small stuff.

'If you put the sand into the jar first,' he continued, 'there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls.  The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, You will never have room for the things that are important to you.


So...
Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness.
Play with your children.
Take time to get medical checkups.
Take your partner out to dinner.
There will always be time to clean the house and fix the dripping tap.
Take care of the golf balls first -- The things that really matter.
Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.'

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented.  The professor smiled.  'I'm glad you asked'. It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend.'

All the Best,
Whitney
© 2010 All rights reserved, Whitney Merrill 

Intention for a New Day

At the end of each day there is an opportunity to review what has transpired in our lives, specifically the Actions that we have taken or not taken.  On some days there is great movement - such as a job being accepted, moving into a home, a relationship started, a big transaction closed or a child being born.  It is easy on such days to reflect at the end of them and say "Wow, look what we have accomplished!"  On other days, there may be little movement or perhaps even some resistance that shows up for you in your world in the form of missed meetings, deliverables slipped, offers rescinded or quotas increased.  Although perhaps not as pleasurable, there is opportunity in all 3 states of Action (movement, stasis and resistance).

My daily review currently occurs each day when my 2+ yr old son is having his bath - whether it is my wife or me giving him the bath I will use this bath time to reflect on what has occurred during the day.  Where productive Action has occurred I will acknowledge myself for remaining in the Flow of energy that enabled me make progress along my journey.  Where there is stasis or resistance I will acknowledge that as well and take a deeper look.   Specifically, I will ask myself if have met my personal intentions - would I benefit from setting or resetting them again?

As an example, if I have not met my Intention to find a new job/career but I am still actively working towards this goal, I will resent the intention and remind myself that I am one day closer towards that new job/career that is coming my way.  If I find that I am missing meetings and appointments and this has just come to the forefront of my attention, I will set a new intention to be on-time (i.e. a few minutes early) to each meeting and to reground my calendar.  Perhaps this will result in me re-looking at the lack of wiggle room in my calendar or perhaps removing some commitments, but setting the intention is invariably the first step in the process.

Just for today, spend a few quiet minutes at the end of your day to review what has transpired and try the following exercise:

1)  Acknowledge what has occurred and give thanks
2)  Take a look at what has not occurred, pick one area of focus and assess whether you want to set or reset your intention
3)  Light a candle and as you are doing so, state your intention out loud with the understanding that you are communicating this intention to a 'broader audience' than just your self (i.e. the Universe)


Your intention has now been reset and your future is on it's way and will be here soon.  Tomorrow will be a new day with a new sunset - what 'lenses' and intentions that you will look at tomorrow's sunset are all up to you.  Rest up and enjoy - one day at a time.

All the Best,
Whitney
© 2010 All rights reserved, Whitney Merrill

'An ant on the move does more than a dozing ox.' - Lao Tzu

Authenticate

'Please enter your UserName and Password' is a familiar request these days and one that causes many people a good deal of consternation.  From an identity verification and authentication perspective the issue is not that we do now know Who We Are (UserName) or Something We Know (Password), but that most of us now have MANY of these identifiers and they keep on changing.   Remembering and keeping track of them all can be quite a challenge in the Information Age that we live in, but perhaps this is just the current 'price' of living on the leading edge of creation.  (For those interested in a good username/password storage application, I recommend www.roboform.com).  But I digress... :)

When you think about it, this is just an electronic version of the age old question - "So, Who are You truly anyway?"  Or more specifically, how do I authenticate you?  From Wikipedia: ""Authentication (from Greek: αυθεντικός ; real or genuine, from authentes; author) is the act of establishing or confirming something (or someone) as authentic, that is, that claims made by or about the subject are true."  We are being asked this question from those providers (i.e. banks, social media sites, on-line retailers, etc.) that we have chosen to engage with in the 'virtual' world vs. in the 'physical' world, so this additional step is necessary to authenticate who we say we are - otherwise someone could be impersonating us.  Unfortunately, this does not necessarily mean that in the 'physical' world that we are 'Who We Claim To Be' either, now does it?  In fact, many people walk around impersonating themselves every day - either not knowing who they are and/or claiming to be something that they are not.  'Invalid UserName and Password' is the norm rather than the exception.

When I go to preschool to pick up my son at the end of the day I will often engage with children that I have not met before and I like to ask them "Who are you!?!"  The answer is almost always clear and simple - 'I am Isaac!', 'I am Natalie!' or 'I am Mason!', etc.  Remember when you were that sure about who you were?!  Of course, much has happened in our lives since then and we have all played many roles, been through many life phases and been many different people just in this single lifetime.  Each time it was a different 'UserName and Password', no wonder we can't keep track of all of them.  And there is no easy little application to manage them for us and lots of new groups of people, organizations and providers that will want us to authenticate with them in the future.

My suggestion is to take it one 'role' at a time.  Pick one for today and truly own it, with the understanding that each day is a new day and tomorrow you are free to choose a new one.  Look at yourself in 'the mirror', chose 'Who You Are' and allow the world around you to authenticate and validate you all day long.  You can choose ANY 'Who You Are', in ANY format and in ANY area of your life, but try one on for today and live it FULLY.  Examples could be:

I am... 'a father.'
I am... 'passionate about health and well being.'
I am... 'a corporate account executive in the high tech industry.'
I am... 'LOVE.'
I am... 'a photographer.'
I am... 'teaching others about Universal Truths.'

Look then for people to ask you for your 'UserName and Password' all day long and give it to them!  You are likely to find that people and organizations that you have chosen to engage with will do so where you are today - just for today, give them full permission to do so.  Open up to 'Who You Are' and just Be.  

By the way, for Today, I am... 'sharing.'

All the Best,
Whitney
© 2010 All rights reserved, Whitney Merrill

Consuming Information

It is interesting to ponder the thought that just a few decades ago the concept of having Too Much Information available would be one of the challenges facing each of us as we go about our daily lives.  Yet here we are today in the age of the Internet, smart phones, Twitter and texting - who would of thought?

Choice becomes ever more important in such an environment and sometimes what you don't choose is as important in what you do.  Additionally, discernment is becoming an ever more important skill to develop as our ability to separate the 'wheat from the chaff' ultimately determines what we decide to consume and digest in our daily 'diet' of Information.  We all know what happens when we enjoy more and more of our meals at the drive-up window of our favorite fast-food restaurant - the same applies with with what we consume intellectually.

When seeking Information, I suggest the following 3 fold approach (note: IVC):

Investigate:  As if you were a investigative reporter, pursue and 'stalk' your information as it if you were digging for the Truth at all times.  Be constantly on the look-out for new clues and hints of what is hidden beneath rather than accepting information at surface value.  Maintain an attitude of neutral to skeptical at all times until you have double confirmed your 'sources' of information.

Validate:  Once you have confirmed your 'sources', look to Validate your Truths.  Whether it be a Personal, World or Universal Truth, determine if Validation has occurred and if so, acknowledge and recognize it.  Seek to build upon Validated Truths, just as a strong house is built on a solid foundation.

Contemplate: Of utmost importance is the absorption of truly Validated information.  To often we 'gobble down' our food, not allowing ourselves to digest properly.  I prefer quiet time alone or a walk in nature for my contemplation but a good easy chair or even walking the dog may be your preference.  Creating the time and space for this contemplation is often the challenge but the rewards will surprise you.

The suggested exercise for today is to pick a space in your home for Contemplation and make it your own.  If you already have one then clear, clean and re-order to reset the grounding.  If you have none and space is at a 'premium' where you live then start small with a cushion, a little table or a small plant - just the act of doing this will start the 'digestive' juices flowing.  Who knows what you'll be 'hungry' for next? :)

All the Best,
Whitney

© 2010 All rights reserved, Whitney Merrill

'From wonder into wonder existence opens.' - Lao Tzu

What do 'I' have planned for myself?

In each lifetime we are confronted with the challenge and opportunity of finding out what 'we' had planned for ourselves.  Or in other words, we in our Personality are seeking to understand our Essence Plan.  No small feat when you consider that the Personality often feels like it is 'going it alone' while our Essence is connected to the timelessness and infinite of the ALL - sometimes it can be a difficult 'meeting of the minds'.  However, if we are willing to calm the Mind through meditation and contemplation it is possible to have an energetic dialogue with oneself about what this Plan truly is. 

Additionally, our Essence is always seeking to 'clue us in' through direct experience in the tangible world and this information is available to us if we are able to pay attention.  This is a foreign concept to many of us who were brought up in a society where we were taught to receive guidance and information in specific ways and from specific sources.  Fortunately, we have innate abilities that have been handed down to all of us through our natural history that are available to direct towards this challenge.  From our hunter/gatherer days we learned the skills of observing, tracking and stalking that which we were seeking.  We can direct this focus into our daily lives of today.  Whether at work, at home, in the grocery store, walking the dog, etc. - clues are available to us everywhere if we are simply willing to pay attention.

Just for today, direct your focus to everything that is going around you with the assumption that this is information for the taking.  Look at everything in the physical world as if it were something that 'you' put there to remind yourself of why you are here and what you had planned for yourself.  Consider that nothing is too small and nothing is too insignificant to be valuable to you in your quest.  Just keep your eyes wide open.

What 'on Earth' are you here for anyway? :) 

All the Best,
Whitney
© 2010 All rights reserved, Whitney Merrill 

“There is always one moment in childhood when the door opens and lets the future in.” - Deepak Chopra

Harmonizing for Today

Upon emerging from the mid-life transition where we have learned to put our 'past in our past' and live through the True Personality, there are often items and memories of a positive nature that still resonate with us.  While Fears may have been learned from our parents and others, there were likely also people and events that inspired us and illuminated our way.  Integrating them into the present is an opportunity to ground us and and further enrich our lives in the NOW. 

The challenge often lies in sorting through that which truly resonates and that which is simply an emotional cord that drains us.  Does the trip back 'memory lane' provide a positive energy refresh or does it just drain our batteries?  Were there pieces of the experience, place or person that have particular positive resonance and were there pieces that we would rather not remember at all?  Can the two be separated?  This is not an easy exercise, especially when the False Personality is 'running the show' and again why this is often not attempted until the final phases of the process.

Until that time, there are still Actions that we can take to assist in sorting, selecting and harmonizing the pieces of our past.  For like notes in a melody, each one has a resonance that will energetically attract to the others.  Like attractions will be harmonic and un-like attractions will have dissonance.  Playing a note and hearing which notes around it 'sound good' and which 'don't sound good' is just like doing what we love to do and seeing if items or memories from our past attract and harmonize to it naturally.  There are an infinite number of combinations if we have the patience to try them all.

My suggestion for today is that you 'play a note' of something you Know you Love and try 'combining' one or two other items from your past to see if there is a resonance.  If there is, try playing that new 'melody' again from time to time and see what else it attracts.  If not, consider letting go of that past item or memory to see if it will provide more freedom and available energy to you today.  Continuous harmonizing for today is simply another way of looking at Being Present or Living in the NOW - it all starts with playing that first 'note'. 

All the Best,
Whitney
© 2010 All rights reserved, Whitney Merril

'Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment.' - Buddha

The Way Through

When confronted with what may appear to be an obstacle in our path, the natural tendency of many is to go 'over', 'under' or 'around' the obstacle.  As a child growing up I remember that every time that I came to a fence in one of my explorations of the world around me I learned how to climb over it, dig under it or get around it somehow.  In many ways this was noted by myself or others as an achievement, but in my adult life facing different types of obstacles in the areas of finances, relationships, work & career, family, health, etc. I have begun to look at this in another way.

First of all, I no longer immediately assume that the obstacle in front of me is one that was put there by some 'external source' that I have no control over. The default assumption is now that I put this obstacle there or by my own choices that this situation was essentially 'created' by me.  Often this requires a bit of examination but if I am honest with myself and dig deep enough it almost always comes back to my choice.

After coming to this realization and understanding of my 'predicament', I will then ask myself 'Why?' or 'What possible Purpose does this serve?'  As a child I would already be over the 'obstacle' and perhaps on to the next one :), but as an adult I have taught myself to pause and contemplate.  As someone who is energetically inclined to action and movement I have had to work on this part of the process the most and have developed strategies and tactics for doing so.  One of them is to 'photograph' the obstacle and myself confronting it, either with my actual camera, my journal/writing or even just my Mind.  An Energetic Picture can be as powerful as a physical one and if taking a particularly powerful 'photograph' I will usually do all 3.

The reason for this extra 'effort' is that in my adult life I have learned that if I do not achieve some form of a breakthrough or insight that ultimately this 'obstacle' will present it again to me in some fashion or another.  'Like attracts like' and 'resistance attracts resistance' is the fundamental energetic principle that I have validated for myself through countless experiences, both positive and negative.  Through the patient instruction of the Universe, I have found that ultimately what I am seeking is a way Through - not a way over, around or under.

Looking at the fence in the picture I see the gaps between the wooden slats and can feel the moss and lichen.  What if gently pry off a board and replace it after squeezing through?  What if I search for gaps or weaknesses in the fence and use them to my advantage?  What if I turn into fog and drift through into the field?  What if I become one with the energetic particles of the wood and pass right through?  What if the fence is not really there but just a memory or an illusion?  What if I'm already Through and just haven't realized it yet? :)

Guide me O' Universe, I am looking for a way Through.

All the Best,
Whitney
© 2010 All rights reserved, Whitney Merrill 

The 'Best' of Intentions

Glastonbury Tor

In moments of elevated emotion and inspiration it is often easy to set powerful future intentions. It is only later when the end result has occurred that we are able to evaluate 'what happened' to determine potential next steps for future intentions and actions.  A positive end result may create a foundation of 'energetic confidence' while a negative end result may provide 'lessons learned' that guide our future energetic focus.  Additionally, there is a tendency to judge and criticize ourselves (and others) for 'poor' execution or communication, often resulting in limiting beliefs that then constrain us energetically.  We may have the 'best' of intentions but they may not always result in the 'best' results.

A powerful distinction to note here is the difference between Intended Action and Executed Action, especially when evaluating the actions or communication of others.  In performing a thorough evaluation, I generally ask the 3 sets of questions:

1)  Was the Intention really there?  Regardless of the outcome, was there an attempt to accomplish what intended?  Bottom line - was it an 'honest' intention?
2)  Was there a mis-communication or did I hear what I wanted to hear and not what was actually said?  Was there any communication in writing that could be reviewed or re-read to clarify the intention at the current time? 
3)  What was the Executed Action and how did it differ from the Intended Action?  Is it complete or is it still in process?  Has the situation changed in any way that might alter the original intention?

Upon completion of this evaluation I am often guided to next steps grounded with a better sense of perspective - again, lessons learned.  Additionally, I have found that a non-executed action is not a 'promise broken' if the true Intention still exists.  I am able to bring myself back into Integrity by resetting the Intention and re-grounding it in the NOW, usually by communicating this to whomever may be involved or impacted by the Intention.

Scripting a path for oneself is bound to result in many disappointments but living your life to the fullest does require some intention and focus.  Just for today, look at your current active Intentions to see if you can add 1 action item for each and communicate this to all those who are involved.  And for those whom you have judged, hit the 'reset button' and offer up your support - you may be surprised at the execution after all.

All the Best,
Whitney
© 2010 All rights reserved, Whitney Merrill

'I never see what has been done; I only see what remains to be done.' - Buddha

The Feeling of Vision

Photo courtesy of NASA - Mars Rover tracks (on Mars)

I was recently reminded of the scene from the movie "Under the Tuscan Sun" where they talked about imagining and holding a Vision of the future that seemed nearly impossible - it was about building train tracks over a mountain before there was a train that could make the trip.  A powerful feeling and image, it also has  you wonder how they were able to pay for and build the tracks with no immediate gratification available - and who made it happen.  Especially in the current economic climate where budgets are tight and funds are scarce, our rational sensibilities make it difficult to even dream of such a public works project occurring today. 

However, that is what powerful people do, each and every day.  They Vision their future with all of their heart and soul, and then they figure out how to make it happen.  In Energetic terms, they lead with their most powerful intention that is grounded in Joy, then manifest it into their existence.  They encounter Resistance, and then they work through it.  The have Fears, and then they address them.  They get Stopped with money issues, and then they find the money.  When asked how they do it, what they often say is that it is their Vision of the future that keeps them going.  I will add to that Energetically and say that it is the vibration or Feeling of the Vision that really keeps them going.  They are using the natural power of the Universe to assist them, rather than just the power of their 'Mind'.   

Every Vision has a different Feeling and color and texture and vibration.  This content and context is created individually by each of us - like a painter painting a canvass, no two brushstrokes are the same.  As such, each Vision has it's own fractillic pattern that maps and attracts to the Universe around it, constantly creating and manifesting 'reality' as is moves through Time and Space.  However, until created in physical space it is still subject to a myriad of vibrations and energetic influences, some of which we may be aware of consciously.  Our unconscious limiting beliefs and negative emotions are also at play which is exactly why the Feeling component of Vision is so critical - it is our guide to where and when to place the 'brushstroke'. 

In addition to 'Knowing Thyself', Know what 'Feels Good to Thyself' - and make it happen.  Just for today, don't restrain your Vision with your Mind... open it to your Heart and Spirit and See where it wants to go.

All the Best,
Whitney
© 2010 All rights reserved, Whitney Merrill

"Between Austria and Italy, there is a section of the Alps called the Semmering.  It is an impossibly steep, very high part of the mountains.  They built a train track over these Alps to connect Vienna and Venice.  They built these tracks even before there was a train in existence that could make the trip. They built it because they knew some day, the train would come." - from "Under a Tuscan Sun"

Communication as a bridge to the Truth

Photo by Andrew Hyslop

In a world filled with sales pitches, mass-emails, marketing campaigns, political messaging, corporate spin and sound bytes many of us have learned to be immediately skeptical of whatever we are being told.  We often assume that we are being lied to or at the very least that manipulation and coercion are being employed to get us to do, say or react in some way that we may 'regret later'.  While this may be true regarding the information we receive from unknown or untrusted sources, this does not necessarily mean that there is no way to validate or find trusted sources of information.  Additionally, there is no reason why we have to fall into this trap and get caught up in the 'spin' ourselves... but many of us do.

I have talked previously about such concepts as Unavailable Time and how to limit and filter some of the energetic bombardment - these are valuable first steps in helping you to find your own vibration in the world.  But unless you choose to permanently live 'off the grid' or on a deserted island, you will likely be faced with the challenge of connecting over this energetic gap on a regular basis.  It is your Communication that can accomplish this, making connections where chosen and 'bridging the gap.'  You can either create elaborate bridges with ornamentation and frillery or you can just 'get it done' - it is your choice.  However, if the Truth is where you are going and where you want to connect with others, then your Communication can act as that bridge or the HOW you are going to get there. 

A solicitor came to our door yesterday at dinnertime.  I opened the door and he started in on his pitch but I told him that I was having dinner with my son - he just smiled, said 'Have a good night' and went on to the next house.  After I returned to the table I thought briefly about how I could have told him that it was not a good time and that he could come back another time, etc., etc., but that would have taken away from the Truth of the statement and the feeling that went with it.  "I'm having dinner with my son" was the Truth - and he got it.  We had a nice dinner.

All the Best,
Whitney
© 2010 All rights reserved, Whitney Merrill

"...you shall know the truth, and the truth shall set you free." - Jesus (John 8:32)

Evaluating your Work: What is the Universe is 'telling' you?

When we engage in Work, we often start the process with a Purpose such as 'to make money and provide for my family', 'to engage in a productive activity that benefits myself and others' or 'to keep myself busy and stay out of trouble'.  Then we chose the Structure of this Work and it can range anywhere from a '9 to 5' corporate job to the Peace Corps to just 'puttering around the garden'.  We then actively engage in the Work, Implementing the Purpose and Structure that we have chosen.  In the initial period of activity there is often enthusiasm, a feeling of newness and a sense of starting a new phase and leaving our previous work or previous activities behind.  This may continue for a period of time... and then something invariably 'happens'.

What 'happens' can be a myriad of things and if you live long enough you'll probably experience most of them.  It can be small or large, external or internal, momentous or insignificant, but the situation will change and you will find yourself in the next phase of Evaluation, looking back and assessing the situation before determining the next course of action or decision point.  We may find ourselves lamenting the fact that something has 'happened' or rejoicing, but it is inevitable and a part of life - as the bumper sticker says, 'stuff' happens. :)

As one who has had a 'few' things 'happen' to me (haha) I have found that there is much to be learned by Observing what the Universe is 'telling you'.  The challenge is to separate out what you 'think' (i.e. Theory) from what the Universe shows you is Known.  It is our False Personality and 'ego' that wants to scream that what is 'happening' is all generated from 'out there' and external events, whether it be the economy, the government, your company, your boss, the weather, etc.  However, it is what is inside of us and our vibration that attracts us to these events and situations in the external world.  And it is our beliefs that can attach us to these events if we choose to do so, or allow us to remain detached and unaffected by the storms that blow around us.

In an effort to illustrate the distinction, I will use two common situations as examples:

Structural Changes at Work:  As previously noted, after determining our Purpose for engaging in Work we chose a Structure for this Work (i.e. the job and workplace environment).  However, as with everything in the Universe there is constant change occurring and sometimes this Structure can change, perhaps even abruptly.  Your company could merge with another, your boss could quit, your office could move, your compensation plan could be adjusted, etc. The False Personality might be saying "Why me?" but the Universe may be 'telling' you something else.  Perhaps this is ultimately a great opportunity and improvement for you, and perhaps it is time to find new Work.... how do you Know?

Under-Performance at Work:  In this situation, it is the 3rd step in the process (Implementation) that is showing up for us.  We have determined our Purpose and chosen our Structure, but after a period of time our actions are not generating the results that were expected.  Whether you're not hitting your quota, you were put on notice for not showing up on time or find yourself dreading going to work every day, the external situation is not matching your internal desires and you can literally see/feel the contrast between the two. Again, the False Personality will want to put the blame elsewhere (i.e. your territory, your boss, the economy, your peers, etc.) but what is the Universe 'telling' you about you? 

The process for sorting out the differences between the two (the False Personality and the truth of what is Known) is an internal one and is therefore assisted by such processes and activities as quiet time alone in nature, writing/journaling, contemplation and meditation.  For those of us living a busy life we may not have this time readily available or scheduled.  However, it is important to not skip over this step in the process and resist the temptation to act 'impulsively'.  Doing so is likely to just 'move us down the road' several years where we find ourselves in a similar situation with very little learned or earned for all our efforts.  If we act on what we think we know (Theory), we are acting out of the negative pole of this part in the process and often compounding the issue.

There is no 'easy answer here' and each person's internal process is different and likely to result in varying decisions and actions.  I will suggest two 'rules of thumb' or best practices that may be of value:

1) If you don't KNOW, do nothing.  Unless confronted with a truly life threatening situation (vs. ego or False Personality threatening), try deferring your decision making process until you can make the time to properly Evaluate and reflect on the situation.  Sometimes, the Universe may even give you time time even if you resist it (in the form of a break between jobs or a summer 'off') - I suggest that you take it if you can get it!
2) Be flexible - think FLOW.  Sometimes all that is really occurring is an incremental shift or minor course-correction.  By being inflexible to a changing environment we may lose the ability to use our current momentum to help us travel down the river to calmer waters.  However, acknowledge to yourself that this current 'rough patch' may consume some more of your energetic resources and remember to give to yourself.  Schedule that massage, vacation or go to the movies to give yourself the extra break - perhaps you can even use some of this time for contemplation or journaling! :)

Remember, there will always be another 'happening' and the Universe will always be 'telling' you something.  The key is, are you  listening?

All the Best,
Whitney
© 2010 All rights reserved, Whitney Merrill

"To realize that you do not understand is a virtue; Not to realize that you do not understand is a defect." - Lao Tzu

The Focus of NO

After the identification of Purpose and some understanding as to the composition of Structure, we are faced with the 3rd step in the process which is deliberation as it relates to the potential future Implementation.  This is the process whereby we begin to determine what is 'in' and what is 'out', thereby providing us with focus.  Many people have a great deal of difficulty with this step as it invariably involves saying 'NO' to other people that many be involved for without some 'nos' we will ultimately not have enough energy for the 'yesses'.  We may feel that we are 'closing doors' or 'burning bridges' when in reality what we are doing is laying the energetic 'rails' for our future expansion, growth and movement.  Without those rails or guides to keep us focused and on-track then our energy has the potential to become scattered, weak and diffuse.    

When we have come to know our Inner Purpose and Structure, it is up to us to navigate through distractions and to acknowledge that there is an energetic cost for every 'side trip' along the way.  Learning which choices are stepping stones and which are dead-ends is part of the experience of life but there are also ways in which we can mitigate the risks and optimize the use of our own personal power.  Examples include:

1) Regarding a decision or choice, ask yourself: "Do I really want to do this Right Now?" or "Do I think that this is the next 'right' thing for me to do?"
2) Is there a 'Need', 'Should' or 'Have to' somewhere in my decision making process (a good indicator that this is not your own True Belief)?
3) If I wasn't concerned about what other people would think or feel (i.e. they would support me either way), would I still chose this or would I say 'NO'?
4) When I shift forward in time to my Energetic Picture of the future and look back upon this choice, do I feel that it is in alignment with the feeling of my Energetic Picture?
and/or
5) Am I working with a trusted guide or advisor who can assist me in aligning my deliberation process with my Purpose and Structure so that I can avoid the undue influence of False Personality? (i.e when I do not have clarity with regard to questions 1-4 above)

It is also important to note that NO can be stated powerfully, honorably, respectfully and with integrity.  It is the "Yes (but I really don't want to)" that is what is really out-of-integrity.  What we are saying when we say "Yes (but I really don't want to)" is that we don't honor or respect the other individual enough to tell them the truth, usually under the guise that it 'might hurt their feelings'.  Also, when I say "Yes (but I don't know if I have enough energy for that)" then we are also out-of-integrity as we try and 'look good' to others and 'go along with the motions' to 'save face'.  A simple 'NO, Thank you' can make all of the difference in these situations, especially when communicated from the heart.

My suggestion for today and for your next step of deliberation is that you simply be open to the 'NO's that may present themselves to you.  By doing less of what you don't want to do, see if that gives you more energy for what you do - and then choose that.

All the Best,
Whitney
© 2010 All rights reserved, Whitney Merrill

"If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice." - RUSH

Attached to When

When engaging in our daily lives, there is a tendency to fixate on When something is going to happen for us.  We live in a frenetic, complicated and busy world and at times it can seem like the best approach is to attempt to control a little slice of that for our own 'peace of mind'.  'If I just do this one thing' or if 'I can finally get this other thing' or 'I must achieve this by this date', have become common phrases for many of us in our attempt to achieve this for ourselves.  We also tend to 'buy into' other people's fixations and end up unconsciously making them our own over time.  'We have to hit this number' or 'We need to get to this goal, or else', have become part of the social background so much so that we don't even realize that 'we' (You) didn't set these goals - it was somebody else.   Whether it be in our jobs, our family or friends - attachment to When is everywhere around us.

However, when you look our into Nature you don't see this with the same constraint of attachment.  You see everything in movement and growth, but no When.   You see animals going about their lives doing much of the same things that we do - waking up, going out to find food for themselves and their family, playing, exploring, sleeping and going to bed again each day.  You see plants reaching for the sun, water flowing in its courses, rocks weathering the test of time and air continuously circulating around the Earth.  All of this occurs without a controlled schedule of When but it all happens.  There is an overall Flow and timeline of days, seasons and years created by the continuous movement of the planets but there is no Stop and no Resistance whatsoever. 

For when we fixate on When, what we are actually attempting to do is Stop the Flow.  This illusion in our Mind is that When we actually get what we want we will have that 'peace of mind'.  When we close that deal and hit our number for the month, When we get the job that we 'always' wanted, When we solve or heal the problem, When we buy the house that we were saving for or When we loose the 10 pounds that we were 'just' trying to lose for 2 years, Then we will be OK and we can rest!  But the reality is that there is always going to be another When and there is never going to be a Stop.  The planets and galaxies will not stop their rotations (anytime soon) and everything in the world and Universe around us will remain in continuous movement and Flow.  Our job (or another one) will be there, we will likely move again, we will have more problems and we will likely gain a few more pounds back, and then lose them again.  We know this, and yet our fixation of  the Mind will immediately come back to "But I just need This now" and I'll work on That later.

My suggestion is to not turn away or try and pretend that you don't have some of these fixations but to acknowledge where you have the When's in your life and ask yourself "Why do I?" As examples:
 - Why do I need to hit my numbers to be at the top of the leader-board for the month?
 - Why do I want a new job?
 - Why do I the new house?
 - Whey do I want that relationship?
 - Why do I need to heal or fix this problem?
 - Why do I want to loose 10 pounds?
The hint and clue here is not so much in the Why? but in the 'I'.  Ask yourself if these are really your goals.  Are you perhaps 'sharing' these goals with someone else (like a spouse, co-worker or family member) and 'riding along on their coattails?'  Are these When's things that you were taught earlier in life and now believe are your own?  Who in your life wants you to have these When's? What do you really believe is True for you? 

Each and every When is an opportunity to learn more about ourselves so that we can consciously Choose what it is what we really want.  For when we are doing what our True Self really wants then it is timeless and it is Flow - there is no Stop and no Resistance.  There is no suffering and there is no When, there is just right here, right NOW.  We have all had these moments for ourselves - just take a minute to remember what that feels like.  It is that vibration that will guide you as you ask yourself whether you really need the When or whether that is someone else talking.

All the Best,
Whitney
© 2010 All rights reserved, Whitney Merrill

"Before you can learn how to say 'I Love You', you first have to learn how to say the 'I'.  - Ayn Rand

Common 'wisdom'

When examining the Purpose and Structure of your Life's Work, very often there is a common 'wisdom' that inhibits this full examination. Rationality and what we are 'supposed to' be doing with our lives tends to run much of the dialogue in our Minds. What we were taught at a very early age by our parents and family has been reinforced over the years to become a defined 'track' for each of our lives - one that is often challenging to notice or even contemplate 'getting off of'. Why should we go against 'common wisdom' when so many people have been successful before me? Why should I know any better than those that have come before me or even think that I might be able to do something different? Who am I to think that I even deserve to being doing something of meaning when there are so many people just barely 'getting by' or existing?

I would ask you to consider a few questions:

- How many people are really happy and successful and doing what they really want to do in their Life's Work? Whether it be at your current job, among a group of friends or just out at a restaurant - look around and ask yourself what % of those people are spending more than 50% of their active work time engaged in activities and work that they would personally consider meaningful and productive (to them)? Think about it... what % of them is really doing their Life Work on a consistent basis? 7 out of 10, 50%, 1 out of 5, 1 in 10...?

- Of those jobs/careers that have been defined by common 'wisdom' as being 'good' and 'successful' jobs, how many of these are ones that you would want to engage in? If you could change your job overnight would you choose one of these jobs? Would the quality of life be what you wanted or the money or the growth? If you were to evaluate these jobs with regard the the following 9 Factors of Career choice, how would they stack up?

9 Factors of Career Choice
1) Company Vision
2) Work Life Balance (includes Commute)
3) Career Growth/Opportunities
4) Training and Development
5) 'Make a Difference'
6) Manager/Supervisor
7) Executive Leadership
8) Community/Social
9) Compensation & Benefits

- Do you know yourself enough to really know what it is that you want to do with your life? What is your Life's Work and how would you define that? Are you moving towards a better understanding of that or going the other direction (or stopped)? Do you know what it feels like to make a difference in the world or someone else's life other than your own? Do you ever think about this and what comes up in your Mind?

Lots of questions for today but I will suggest that when you really think about it, common 'wisdom' is something to be questioned. Just for today, chose your own Wisdom over the crowd and see where it takes you!

All the Best,
Whitney
© 2010 All rights reserved, Whitney Merrill

“It is easier to sail many thousand miles through cold and storm and cannibals, in a government ship, with five hundred men and boys to assist one, than it is to explore the private sea, the Atlantic and Pacific Ocean of one's being alone. It is not worth the while to go round the world to count the cats in Zanzibar.”

– Henry David Thoreau

Unavailable Time

In our modern world full of cell phones, Internet communications, 24/7 media, social networking and email, there are many entities that have created business goals to provide 100% Availability for these systems and utilities.  While perhaps valuable as a service where competition is high and engendering loyal customers is key, somehow the assumption has crept into our culture that we as consumers must therefore be available to receive these services or we are 'missing out' on the experience. 

In just a short period of time, we have gone from being a society where people have substantial periods of what I will call "Unavailable Time" to having none at all.  The vast majority of people in America are now able to be reached 24/7 via some form of communication at a moment's notice.  This is not a comment on the lack of value or quality of such services - I will suggest that if they were not of value we would not pay money for them.  Simply taking a look at a household's annual spending for these services can give us an idea of the relative worth (i.e. many people will pay their cell phone bill over their gas/electric bill when push comes to shove).  What has gone relatively unnoticed is the cost to our own lives of not having this 'Unavailable Time', specifically with regard to the ability to take a 'break' on a regular basis.  There is a cost to being 100% available and it often shows itself in depression, illness, lack of well-being and a general sense of malaise that many people experience on a daily basis. 

Unfortunately, this cost has crept up on us while we were enjoying our new 'toys'.  The wave of these new forms of communication has hit us so fast that we have not had time to absorb the impact that this has had upon us.  I can remember a time in just my short lifetime where I could turn on the TV and get the 'bars', where "You've got Mail" was what the postman said and where "We're not right here now, please leave a message at the beep and we'll get back to you when we get home" actually meant 'leave a message'!  Taking a drive in your car or taking a walk in the woods actually meant that you could not be reached for a period of time.  It was still possible to 'summer' as a verb at a location where bills would not be received and you had to take cash out of your bank account to fund the vacation/get-away. 

As an exercise to illustrate this wave of change, think back to a special moment from your childhood to a time when you did not have a cell phone or email or 24/7 cable TV.  Choose an event, either in solitude or with friends/family and remember how it felt to be in that moment and experiencing that special time.   Relive that moment and let yourself be young again with the freedom and energy of youth.  Then imagine your cell phone ringing/vibrating in your pocket the middle of that event... this is the world that many of us are living in today.  In that moment we would very likely reach for the cell phone and sever the moment - instinct now has us responding to the cord of connection to a 24/7 communications culture.
 
Fortunately, we always have choice.  It does requires a conscious choice in today's culture, but we have the choice nonetheless.  You can indeed choose periods of Unavailable Time, if only for brief periods that will enable you do disconnect and experience part of that freedom and energy that was a common occurrence not too long ago.  For in saying "No" to 100% Availability, you are actually making yourself more readily available to Source and your True Self.   It is unlikely that you will cancel your cell phone or Facebook account, but you could turn it off for periods at a time - along with your home phone, Internet and Cable TV.  You could do this while you are meditating or reading or walking in nature, or you could just do this when you are in your car, having coffee/drinks with a friend or having dinner with your family at home.

More proactively, you could even decide to go on a long weekend trip with your significant other and not tell anyone where you are going, leave your cell phones turned off (in the glove box for emergencies if you are so inclined) and not check email until you get home.  For those of you who have children and/or dependents - you could make arrangements to have them cared for (or you could bring them with you without their cell phones & laptops) and perhaps just leave an emergency number where you will be staying.  Your parents were able to figure this out and their parents before them, etc., etc.  The point is simply that you could choose some 'Unavailable Time' but it will likely have to be a conscious choice where previously it was a common occurrence.

As an exercise in validation, you could just 'try it out', one step at a time.  My suggestion would be to start with just 15-20 minutes a day of 'Unavailable Time' for 2 weeks and see what you begin to notice.  You could then try adding-in 1-2 hour blocks weekly with 2-3 day blocks a few times a year.  Even the act of planning a 'retreat' for several months in advance or a 'vacation' from availability for a few years in the future can hold a bright spot of possibility in your future.  Each conscious act of Choice towards connecting to Source grounds you and makes the next subsequent act that much easier.   Time builds upon time and suddenly new patterns begin to emerge.  This is the magic of 'Unavailable Time' - you never know what you may find if you do not seek.

All the Best,
Whitney
© 2010 All rights reserved, Whitney Merrill

"If you do not change direction, you may end up where you are heading." - Lao Tzu